September 27, 2007

Zebu and Texas: A Great Combination

The Truth is Stranger than Fiction

Pinky has turned over Diablo Inc. to a holding company (against the advice of the board of directors and Miss Love) and is taking a leave of absence to bring his Word to the animals at the local zoo. He starts work next week. Starting Oct. 22 he will be at the front of the zoo guarding a sacred cow for a month--come by and say hello.

God Let Pinky in on His Secret of How He Created the Animals

God's garage workshop had the most amazing tools. (But Pinky was horrified at how unorganized it was--couldn't those angels get off their divinity eatin' asses and get things cleaned up?)

September 25, 2007

Pinky's Dream

Pinky dreamed that he took a bear to school. The bear stopped to look at a pile of sand along the way. It cried for all the campers it had mauled.

Does Fed-Ex Deliver There?

Excerpt from Pinky's Lastest Novella

...The end was so unthinkable that the demon feasting that filled her head day and night actually became her deliverance. It became louder. Rotten chomping teeth grinding up the heavy, baroque silver meat trays. Rivers of feces running in deafening torrents outside her impossibly sweltering room. Ripping fabric like thunderous clouds of farts from hoards of demon whores. This was how she knew she was still alive and her possessions safe.

September 24, 2007

September 19, 2007

The Nose of God

Pinky has No Idea What He's Getting Into at the Zoo

French Bread Tastes Better with Jesus Butter

Zoo Rule #1: Don't Feed Turtles Chocolate

Turtles Aren't Spoiled Dallas Housewives

Pinky D's Word of the Day: Pareidolia

The term pareidolia (pronounced/pɛɹaɪˈdoliə/ or /pæɹaɪˈdəʊliə/), referenced in 1994 by Pinky Diablo, describes a psychological phenomenon involving a vague and random stimulus(often an image or sound) being perceived as significant. Common examples include images of animals or faces in clouds, the man in the moon and hidden on records played in reverse. The word comes from the Greek para — beside, with or alongside — and eidolon — image (the diminutive of eidos — image, form, shape). Pareidolia is a type of apophenia.

September 16, 2007

If Ambrosia is the Food of the Gods...

...the gods are in bad shape, have high cholesterol and live in a trailer park.

Is It Really a Good Idea for Pinky to Work at a Zoo?

Pinky Sends Out a Big Thanks to LS for Her Quick Response

Pinky goes for the gophers.
Pinky comforts the remaining giraffes.
Pinky thoughtfully files the okapis’ hooves.
Pinky moisturizes the crocodiles.
Pinky expertly grooms the orangutans.
Pinky shows the flamingoes a thing or two about pinkness.
Pinky lovingly garnishes the lions’ dinner.

Odd Prayer Request

Pinky is calling on his flock for help. He has interviewed at the local zoo for an Animal Keeper position. He is confident the interview went well (considering the ridiculous Crocodile Hunter get-up he was wearing), but a little mojo from his friends wouldn’t hurt. Please follow these directions and return your mojo sentence to Pinky. Extra Pinky Heaven Points if you send this to your group of friends and have them send Pinky their zoo keeper prayer.

Pinky __________s ______________.
(blank #1 should have a verb that is about caring for animals)
(blank #2 should have a type of animal you can imagine Pinky handling)
Appropriate adverbs and adjectives are welcome.

Pinky hugs the naked mole rats.
Pinky gives solace to a dwarf mongoose.
Pinky carefully combs the hissing Madagascar coachroach.

(Beware: Pinky will send you to Hell if you get too out of hand with your verbs. After all, this is to develop an aura of positive ions around the zoo hiring committee—not a stink of perverseness.)

Thanks in advance,
Senior Vice-President in Charge of Keeping Pinky Off the Street
Diablo Inc.

September 14, 2007

How Does Pinky Start His Day

Coffee and NPR.

A Little Reading Can Really Screw Things Up

As you know, Pinky is on the verge of Bollywood fame playing Hanuman in a new movie series. But Pinky started reading the Ramayana this week. Now he is considering contacting the director and demanding a change. He feels that he is more in sync with Rama than with Hanuman. Afterall, Rama was the perfect man. And guess what is underneath Pinky's monkey-like appearance?

Pinky D: Architectural Genius

Pinky Diablo, sponsered by Dwell Magazine, designs the perfect classroom.

September 13, 2007

How Many Birds Die Every Day?

Every night Pinky says a prayer for every bird that died that day. There are a lot of damn birds in the world, and Pinky is tired of praying so much.

Miss Love's Prize Zebu Steer Has a Magnificant Dewlap

Gerard Krerfft, Naturalist Forefather of Pinky Diablo

Gerard Krefft, who collected eight specimens near the junction of the Murray and Darling rivers in 1857, took a drawing of a specimen with him to show to Aborigines, to help explain that this was the animal he was anxious to procure. Unfortunately the only drawing he could obtain was of a specimen that had lost its tail, and his Aboriginal helpers brought him any number of common bandicoots with their tails screwed out, before finally arriving with two living pig-footed bandicoots. Krefft, who was on short rations at the time, studied them for some time before he was forced to kill them. He recorded that ‘they are very good eating, and I am sorry to say that my appetite more than once overruled my love for science; but 24 hours upon "pig face" (Mesembryanthemum) will damp the ardour of any naturalist.’

September 12, 2007

Scooter in Purdah

If John Audubon had been a Woman in Iraq

Pinky Continues to Stay in Character

Pinky has been practicing for his Bollywood debut as Hanuman. Today he painted french doors for a friend and stayed in the Hamuman costume and character. Pinky constantly asks himself: WWHD?

The monkeys and bears decided that since Hanuman was the son of the Wind God, Vyu, he was the best at jumping and must leap to Lanka. Hanuman had his father's energy and swiftness, power and strength. (When Hanuman was a child he thought the sun was a ripe fruit and tried to jump up and catch it. He jumped so high that he nearly got burnt, but the Sun was impressed and gave Hanuman the gift of immortality as a reward for his courage and cleverness.)

Rama gave Hanuman his ring, to give to Sita. Hanuman prayed to his father and jumped. (Hanuman's leap is the subject of many paintings.) Hanuman leapt over the ocean, escaping several devouring demons that he met on the way. Here you can see him jumping through the jaws of Surasa, a sea monster, on the way to the island of Lanka.

September 9, 2007

Self-Portaiture in the Mid-Century

Zillah Laney, Uncle Poot's next door neighbor, came home from the chicken factory every night and stood against the wallpaper and tried to disappear. After three years of doing this, Zillah was sure she could, in fact , blend into the patterned paper. In 1959, Zillah Laney purchased a Pentax camera with a time delay and started taking a photo every 30 minutes. By 1972 she had amassed 54,973 photographs of herself standing against her bedroom wall.

Goya was Da' Bomb

Pinky dislikes ALL paintings. However, he doesn't consider frescoes painting (They're more like architecture.) This is Pinky's all time favorite non-painting. Miss Love agrees with Pinky's painting proclamation. On a recent car trip, she announced from the backseat (she refuses to sit in the front with Pinky), "The best art is a window." Who can argue with that?

Let Me Count the Ways (This is Rhetorical and/or Literary--You know Pinky Rarely Uses the First Person)

This contains so many things that Pinky loves:
1. Pinky loves looking at old photos
2. Pinky loves old photos with handwriting on them
3. Pinky has had a long standing fascination with Dazzle camouflage from WWI
4. The word "leviathan" scares the pants off him!
5. You are just plain ignorant if you do not love the shape of that second "S" in H.S.S.

Miss Love Thinks Pinky Has Bird Legs

Add Image

When Pinky Tries to Convince Himself of Something, He Writes it Over and Over