December 23, 2007

Prayer Could Have Saved Her

Pinky's Little Chair is Empty (Because Pinky is in Italy)

Unless Pinky gets bored in Italy, there may not be new postings until he returns in a few weeks. (He is on a secret papal mission having something to do with dying birds.)

December 22, 2007

Neiman-Marcus Sadness

Pinky and his employer, J. Brightenbetter, went to Neiman's for their company Christmas party to see the decorations. Downstairs in the shoe department was a display where shoppers could write a wish and put it in a giant plexiglass box. (Neiman's was going to do something cuddly with all the wishes.) Pinky looked carefully in the clear box and was able to read one of the wishes. The handwriting was definitely aristocratic and female. It read: I wish I didn't have a black moustache.

December 18, 2007

Miss Love Often Puts Pinky in His Place

Excerpt from Pinky's Latest Short Story

excerpted from

Death Becomes Her

Seven Very Short Cautionary Tales to Bring Children Closer to the Buddha


The Secret and Horrible Fears of Divorced, Spinstered, or Widowed Women of a Certain Entitled Stature Contemplating Death

Every action, every thought she now made led her down an evil rabbit hole of fear. She thought about the horror of putting on her peignoir—then, putting it on, it clung and burned her flesh like flaming napalm. She feared even lifting her padded house shoe. The first step toward the grapefruit half was on frozen shards of glass, the next step found her sinking in piles of red-hot ball bearings. The next was worse. She sliced the grapefruit with her eyes closed, knowing what it was becoming--a beating heart pumping her apartment full of tepid black blood. She closed her eyes and saw her father, resplendent with twisting horns embalming her mother alive. Eyes opened and writhing snakes and giant cockroaches with the saints’ faces rained down in her garden outside the breakfast nook window. She would hold her breath and try to keep the fear away for a fleeting moment. Then gasping for air, thousands of dry, cottony moths would fly down her throat. Eyes closed, she would try no to move, only to know without looking that there was a wave of fear cresting over her head, inches from her scalp ready to break as soon as she moved even a hair--a wave of liquid fear chock full of bloody teeth with their roots still pulsating--a wave with the sound of millions of feeble, aged hips snapping in unison--a wave of bloody lingerie filled with the pulpy remains every miscarriage ever suffered in Earth’s short tenure.
Now, children, use you imagination for a few minutes and think about what else could be in that soup of hideousness washing over Shermanora…Every disgusting, unfathomable fear found its way into this abominable recipe. What could any of us do against the unstoppable force of such terror? It is absolutely unimaginable. This hurricane of revulsion powered by the winds of Shermanora’s Fear washed away all time and place. Whether she actually died (which we can only assume she did) was irrelevant for her. She was swept away, pulled under, spit out, tied down, dismembered, and confronted with every unspeakable ghastly deed and apparition her Fear could possibly conjure up. We imagine a vast putrid ocean of gristle and slime with Shermanora, infinitesimally small, sometimes floating, sometimes pulled under into the dark, wet awfulness. Endlessly deep. Endlessly cruel. With ever increasing horrors spiraling up from the coagulated depths to nibble on Shermanora’s peignoir hem for eternity.

Taxonomy Lesson

The Mind of Pinky

If you take out the giraffes, the branches, the birds, trees, and telephone poles and wire (and maybe the clouds), you would have a pretty good idea of the mind of Pinky Diablo 99% of the time.


Pinky has a Secret Cabinet at the Zoo

Nadine's Avian Nemisis Nadine

Nadine's mother bought little Nadine a budgie. Then she refused to let Nadine have anything to do with it. She named it Nadine and made it little clothes. (Little human Nadine only had hand-me-downs.) After a few months, Nadine's mother only spoke to Parakeet Nadine and not to Daughter Nadine. When it died, she had a huge funeral and spent all of Nadine's college fund on it. Now, every time Nadine sees a bird, she wants to choke the bird shit out of it.

December 14, 2007

Visit the New Pinky Diablo Toddler Museum

Diablo Inc. has recently opened the doors to the new 54 million dollar museum honoring the life of Pinky D from age 2 to 5. Pinky was a well-known bully whom the neighborhood children called Mr. Moto. Here is the shoe Pinky used to kick their little asses.

Did You Doubt That Pinky Could Draw Animals?

Every day in his lunch break, he draws an animal at the zoo. This one took 4 days.

November 30, 2007

Overheard Phrase of the Day

Pinky overheard one Dallas socialite say to the other: "Once you've seen one ossuary, you've seen'em all." (Please do not contact Diablo Inc. to ask where Pinky could possibly come in contact with Dallas socialites. He's a lot more well connected than you might imagine.)

God (right) and an Unidentified Helper Put the Finishing Touches on the World

November 29, 2007

Fun in the Elephant House

What happens at the zoo, stays at the zoo.

The Truth is Stranger Than Fiction

Although Pinky has worked over 75 hours this week at the zoo and teaching night classes, he has somehow found time to embroider a quilt with 100 euphemisms for the male and female genitalia.

Pinky D Prays for Every Dead Bird Around the World

BAGHDAD (Reuters) - A bomb hidden in a box of birds killed 13 people and wounded 57 at a popular pet market in central Baghdad on Friday, police and witnesses said, describing the deadliest attack in the Iraqi capital in two months. Body parts were strewn among bird carcasses as bystanders piled victims into carts and rushed them to ambulances after the blast at the Ghazil pet market, which was crowded at the time. The pet market, a popular weekend spectacle, sells a colorful range of creatures from guard dogs and monkeys to parrots, pigeons and tropical fish. Bystanders and stallholders covered their noses with masks because of the stench after the bombing.

November 23, 2007

Look on the Left

Here is a shot inside of Granny D's cabinet. Pinky made the feathered object on the left over 35 years ago. He gathered cedar wax wing feathers and stuck them into wet clay then pressed some of Granny D's jewelry around the edges to create a lovely pattern. Since this objet d'art couldn't be fired, Pinky coated it in several layers of clear fingernail polish. If Granny D kept this all these years, imagine what else she has saved.

Diablo Inc. Creates New Species

Pinky has contaminated his mini zebu herd with some zoo germs but Miss Love is happy with her little cheetah calf.

November 22, 2007

Pinky's Hairless Dog, Sharky, Admires Pinky's Fleshless Chicken, HoJo

Counting and Forgetfulness

On Oct. 28 Pinky obviously counted a lot of something. The only problem is he can't remember what! From empirical deduction, Pinky is sure it is not fire ant bites received, dollars donated, or dead meercats in the freezer (there were only 13). If you have any idea, please call the Diablo Inc. offshore feline call center.

The Subconscious and St. Francis

Now that Pinky works at the zoo, his dreams are becoming more like his art, and both his dreams and art are more like his daily reality. Pinky enjoys this integration .

November 21, 2007

Pinky's Zoo Dream

Pinky dreamed he created a new exhibit at the zoo. It consisted of giant dining room furniture (three times normal size). The huge walls had a flowery patterned wallpaper. Every ten minutes a little monkey wearing a dress would be let out of a trap door in the wall. The monkey knew what what coming and would start running. Then a lumbering rhino would be let out of another door and tear after the frightened little monkey. Pinky was the zoo keeper in charge of changing the monkey's dress after every chase. the monkey liked the lavender polka-dotted dress with the matching rumba panties.