June 30, 2006

Pinky Needs a Royal Dairy, Too

The Royal Dairy

"Burleigh" furnishes the Boston Journal with the following account of Queen Victoria's Dairy:—

"The building occupies a lodge at the gate of the palace. The interior is exquisitely fitted up. The walls and the floor are of the finest china. The royal arms and medallion likenesses of the entire royal family surround the room. Fountains play, and ingenious arrangements have been made for ventilation and to keep the temperature even, at all times of day and all seasons of the year. The presiding genius of this establishment is a Welch woman, scrupulously neat, in the peculiar garb of her country, the conspicuous part of which was a low-crowned, peculiar-shaped hat. The milk used on the royal table at the castle and in London is obtained from this dairy. The pans, about fifty in number, are of china and of a peculiar shape, made from models furnished by Prince Albert. The milk from twelve Alderney cows is kept by itself for the Queen's special use. From this the butter is made that is placed on the royal table. It follows the Queen wherever she goes. Daily the couriers start from Downing-street with their box of dispatches for Osborne, Balmoral, London, or wherever Her Majesty may be. Just as regular [sic] starts the messenger with the royal butter to find the Queen. At Osborne and Balmoral the Queen has her own dairy for milk, but the butter she must have from Frogmore. I saw rolls of golden butter ready to be sent off. It was very tempting to the eye and sweet to the tooth. The churn used at Frogmore is a metallic one, in shape like a barrel, and rotary. Pans, pails, and cans all bore the royal monogram— 'V.R.' The dairy is called the modern dairy. But no one without a royal revenue could afford such an arrangement. Conspicuous in the room in golden letters is the announcement that the dairy was constructed by Prince Albert 'in the 21st year of Her Majesty's reign.'"

Queen Victoria Had a Nasty Streak

She would often order huge butter sculptures from the royal dairy in the shape of the Elgin Marbles. At state dinners, she would delight in using her butter knife to scrape off the private bits and spreading it on her bread.

Come Out and Visit Pinky Sometime

Pink Ursine Savior

Pinky D's Blood Under a Microscope

Pinky is One of Many of God's Representatives on Earth

(And to tell the truth, they all hate each other.)

June 29, 2006

When the Palmer Oracle Speaks

You better listen!

L. Ferngate Can Shave in the Morning and Still Shave This Much Off at 5 PM

Pinky's Best Friend and Psychic Twin, Lance Ferngate, Turns 57 Today!

Lance, It's your lucky day. Diablo Inc. has arranged an all-expense-paid two week vacation for you at its orphanage in desolate Moldochencko . There you can cavort with abandonned children, eat gruel to your heart's content, and learn to respect authority. You will start you journey with 6 hour layovers in Houston, Midland, Jackson and Perth. From there you will fly to Warsaw where a contingency of orphans will help you find the bus station. From Warsaw it's only a 72 hr bus trip through war-torn Eastern Europe to Moldochencko. The matrons at the orphanage will pamper you with a complementary bleach scrub and de-lousing (you'll need it after the bus ride). You'll awaken every morning at 5 A.M. to the sounds of sobbing and abuse. Diablo Inc. has discovered your love of printmaking. Lance, as a special treat, you'll be appointed press monkey in the orphanage printshop! For 16 hrs a day, you'll get to grease the fly wheels and bundle up the orphanage's newletter that is sent out to the millions of contributors. Enjoy your vacation! (PS--Lance, check the comments below for some more birthday wishes.)

When God Wears a Hole in the Throne of Heaven

June 28, 2006

Here is a Rare Photo of Pinky and Miss Love in Their Heyday

The Secret to Pinky D's Diet Chicken Wraps

Did You Know?

Pinky's a Leo.

Love Talk


Diablo Inc. Now Provides Historic Demolition

You choose the period. Diablo Inc. provides the costumes and tools and authentic music. Choose from Olde English, Inquisition Demolition, Viking, or Trampled by Hannibal. (Custom demolitions also available.) Make tearing down your house a special event in your neighborhood!

Check Out Miss Love's New Hay Trailer

Pinky's Cat Spelled Out Something in Arabic with Furballs

Can you help Pinky translate please!

Pinky Loves Bacon

Francis Bacon that is: "Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is."

June 27, 2006

Pableau X has Been Going to Physical Therapy

Pinky's Life is Tougher Than You Would Expect

Rent Pinky's Poetry Slam Sign for $100/day

Let Pinky express your inner thoughts in free verse.

Miss Love's Zebu have Mystic Powers

The Set for Pinky's New Broadway Hit FOOD!

It's a one act comedy musical that takes place at an event catered by Pinky. It involves spilled soup, evil dinner companions, and towering desserts. Pinky doesn't appear, but his booming bass voice is heard offstage in the kitchen.

A Dead Famous Somebody's Thing

Pinky bought it at a posh antique shop. It's authenticated!

What were Mormans Thinking WhenThey Decided Pets Don't Go to Heaven?

In Pinky's heaven it's mostly pets (with just a handful of humans thrown in).

Pinky and Miss Love Had Bear Claws From Central Market Bakery for Breakfast

June 25, 2006

Pinky Doesn't Judge

Pinky's Planning a Similar Sewer Banquet Soon!

Banquet Hall in the Dry Run Sewer, Waterloo, Iowa. In 1904, Waterloo, tired of cleaning up after floods, decided to enclose Dry Run Creek in a large storm sewer. To celebrate its completion, the Iowa League of Municipalities then held its annual banquet within the sewer. Guests entered at points between Randolph and Wellington and found a sumptuous feast laid for 400.

Pinky's Latest Attempt at Macrame has Ended in Failure Yet Again

Judith, the Maidservant, and Holofernes


OK, Pinky pinked it up a bit, but that's all!

Pinky's Birthday is Coming Soon

What are you going to get him? (That doesn't go for Pableau X and Granny D. They bought his some toes in Oaxaca as an early birthday gift!)

June 24, 2006

Pinky Turns to the Wisdom of the Church for Guidance about Poodles

"Sadly, many Christian children’s books that deal with creation often have pictures of Adam and Eve and the animals in the Garden where the animals pictured are domesticated varieties we are familiar with today—like poodles, Jersey cows and so on.

So churches teach students (or at least give the impression) that God created poodles (and the other domestic varieties of animals). However, public schools teach their pupils that such creatures have developed by processes of change that are incorrectly presented as ‘evolution.’ Thus, in reality, they are being taught that Christianity doesn’t accept real science and therefore the Bible must be wrong.

It is so important for churches to teach Christians the right way to look at the world—giving them a correct understanding of science and history, so they will be able to see through the evolutionary indoctrination of the world."

Poodles really are a reminder of both creation and the Curse. So the next time you see a poodle, perhaps you could use it as a talking point to explain sin—but go on to explain the message of salvation to overcome the effects of sin.

Granny D Packed the Worst Lunches for Pinky When He was a Kid

Pinky Needs a Sample from Each of His Readers

Please fill and return to Diablo Inc. with the handy postage paid, patent pending, P-velope.

Pinky's Remodeling His Bathroom

He's installing a hot tub/baptismal font. Come get baptized today and hot tub with Pinky and Miss Love!

Pableau X. and Granny D were So Proud of Pinky's SIxth Grade Science Project

He turned a live mouse into a block of salt on the cutest little desert diorama you ever saw. Bless his heart.

Pinky is Only Allowed in 1/2 of this Bar

Guess which one!

Pinky Preaches to the Masses

Boy, do they ever need him!

Pinky's Great Grandfather was Convicted in BBQ Murders

From 1912 to 1915, Pinky's Great Grandfather owned a BBQ stand in Waco, Texas. After his business took off, his 2nd wife (not Pinky's Great Grandmother) disappeared. Thanks to the testimony of a certain beef loving nun (Sister Celestine), he was convicted of murdering, marinating, and serving over 35 family, neighbors and customers as sandwiches. At the trial, Sister Celestine said she would gladly have taken the place of the victims. Pinky thinks that is just sick.

June 23, 2006

Pinky D's Art Appreciation Advice

Only look at the bottom 1/5 of any painting. It's always the best.

Pinky Has Been Creating Weather Dioramas in His Basement

Here is a storm front (smoke from frying french fries) moving across North Central Texas (pink formica).

Pinky Keeps Trying to Convert Miss Love

She's not having anything to do with it.