October 26, 2005

The Day That Color Died

Pinky Diablo wouldn't be himself without color.

What You Need To Know About Pinky

Pinky Diablo is a blessing in a horrible disguise.

October 24, 2005

Pinky D Moves to Desert Temple

Pinky D has decided to close down Diablo Inc. and move to the desert to meditate until he is enlightened. He should be back by next Wednesday.

Diablo Inc. Moving to New Digs

Pinky is tired of all the assisants, technicians, manicurists, etc. running around his house. Here is the model of the new headquarters of Diablo Inc. that will open soon . Venus, Midlothian, Waxahachie, and Garland are bidding to have this business come to their town. There will be a Vietnamese noodle shop, a thrift store, and a chapel available for workers and visitors.

Journey Through Pinky's Body #4

Down the hatch and into the stomach! Here the various foods gather in big piles awaiting their necessary paperwork and travel visas required for their continued karmic journey through the body. Of course in Pinky's stomach the piles of food are always pink, pretty, and fluffy (you are what you eat).

Body Part Advice: Your stomach is a temple. Feed it accordingly.

Pinky Reenacts Famous Novel

Pinky D talked the neighbors into playing Moby Dick. Pinky was Captain Ahab and the neighbors made a white whale costume around their 1972 Ford pick-up. It was great fun and Pinky got lots of exercise.

October 23, 2005

Pinky Diablo: This Day in History

Oct 23 4004 BC
According to calculations by 17th century biblical theologian James Ussher, God creates the heavens and the earth.

Pinky D, Jr. Historian: The Disturbing Truth About Christopher Columbus

Pinky Diablo's Philosophy on Eating

Fewer calories--prettier food. That's how Pinky keeps his trim figure. Pinky spends hours carving melons and radishes for Miss Love's dinner every night.

October 22, 2005

A Tour Through Pinky's Body #3

Past the uvula into the esophogus--this is the journey every bite of ice cream Pinky takes makes! You may wonder how Pinky has photographs of all his body. Well, Pinky was left alone in his doctor's office with a colonoscope. Pinky just closed his eyes and swallowed.

Pinky's Body Part Advice: Don't swallow it if it doesn't taste good. (Unless it's a medical device, or it's going to make you famous.)

A Tour Through Pinky's Body #2

Past the mouth and on to the uvula. Did you know that uvula means grape in Latin? Pinky's uvula bears a striking resemblance to the Virgin Mary when turned upside down.

Pinky's Body Part Advice: The uvula makes an excellent meditation focus.

October 21, 2005

Listen to Pinky D Drone on for Hours

Order Pinky D's Power of Positive Thinking today. You can hone your mind to the sharpness of Pinky's in only 5 minutes a day. Learn to say, "It's alright to take a nap, I deserve it!" and "Screw work, I'm going to the Waffle House!"

A Tour Through Pinky Diablo's Body #1

Every journey through the body begins at the mouth. Pinky D wags his tongue too much, and years of eating burning pizza have created canyon-like fissures in the surface.

Pinky's Body Part Advice: When not in use, keep your mouth closed. Gape-mouthedness lowers your IQ appearance by 50 points.

Pinky Diablo,Trickster Extrordinaire

October 20, 2005

Pinky Judges West Texas Beauty Pagent

Pinky Diablo's Baptism Robe on Display at Baylor Student Center

Thousands of pilgrims camped on the Baylor lawn to see the miraculous robe. Pinky sold the crowd lemonade and Pinky D t-shirts, but they thought he was the village idiot. How could they tell in Waco?

More Pinky Diablo Flower Arranging

Pinky's Watching You

Pinky sees you from above!

Pinky D Has New Goat Named Elvis

Pinky D and Miss Love have a new goat named Elvis. Here is the new goat pavillion Pinky built in his dream. Elvis L.O.V.E. loves it.

Torture Still Taking Place in Iraq

Saddam or no Saddam, hundreds of thousands of Pinky's people are still being tortured and murdered in chicken prisons all over the country. Please help Pinky bring the killers to justice.

October 19, 2005

Pink is Not Always Good

Pinky Diablo, Zen Master

Where does the desert end and the pyramid begin?

Pinky's T-Shirts are Coming Soon

Pinky D's Newest Art Series

X-rays of rich ladies.

The Evil Eye of Satan

Luckily Satan's vision isn't as good as Pinky's. With Pinky on the lookout, you're sure to keep the devil away.

Pinky Diablo's Warning to the World

Pinky will be making the merry-go-round spin faster. He recommends that you hold on tighter to avoid being thrown into the jaws of awaiting demons.

October 18, 2005

Pinky Feeling Bellicose

Pinky was feeling a bit punchy. Then he looked up in the night sky and saw the Red Planet by the full moon. Stand back! Pinky's itching for a fight!

Pinky Diablo the Human Candle

Pink Herkules and the 13th Labor

One: Kill the Nemean Lion
Two: Kill the Lernean Hydra
Three: Capture the Cerynian Hind
Four: Capture the Erymanthian Boar
Five: Clean the Augean Stables
Six: Kill the Stymphalian Birds
Seven: Capture the Cretan Bull
Eight: Capture the Horses of Diomedes
Nine: Take the Girdle of the Amazon Queen Hippolyte
Ten: Capture the Cattle of Geryon
Eleven: Take the Golden Apples of the Hesperides
Twelve: Capture Cerberus

Thirteen: Root a Cutting of the Yellow Rose of Texas

Pinky Makes Home Altar with Cigar Box and Piece of Wet Cardboard

Pink Bower Bird Discovered in Pinky's Backyard

New species of Bower Bird discovered in Central North Texas. The usual colouring of the male Satin Bower Bird is a spectacular deep almost navy blue that shines with a satin like sheen, hence the name. The new species is a Pink Bower Bird. The male builds a nest on the ground that is actually a bower of twigs and small branches and dances around his territory to call his mate. He adorns his bower with pretty things, such as drinking straws and even clothes pins, especially if they are a pink colour.

October 17, 2005

Pinky's Family Goes Back to the Garden of Eden

Like all families, Pinky can trace his ancestry back to the Garden of Eden. The difference with Pinky is that his ancestor was the snake. If you know Pinky personally, you know this is truth. Can Pinky hear an Amen! from the peanut gallery?

Pinky Had to Eat It

One of Pinky's lady friends brought him a casserole. It would have been rude not to eat it. Pinky is not feeling well again.

Your Secret's Safe with Pinky

Pinky has a few friends who are taggers. But Pinky will never tell. What a friend we have in Pinky.

Pinky Diablo, This Day in History

After the French Revolution began, Marie-Anoinette, queen consort of Louis XVI, was targeted by agitators who, enraged by her extravagance and attempts to save the monarchy, ultimately guillotined her on this day in 1793.

On the Eighth Day...

...God made some minor changes.

Come to Pinky's Diablo's Day Spa

Debloat with Pinky D's patented vacuum seal skin treatment--Pink-n-Shrink.

This Can't Be Good

October 16, 2005

Pinky Diablo Discovers the Lost Disciple of Christ

Somebody had to cook the Last Supper!

Pink Cabinet of Curiosities

“Learned gentlemen should build a goodly, huge cabinet, wherein whatsoever the hand of man by exquisite art or engine has made rare in stuff, form or motion; whatsoever singularity, chance, and the shuffle of things hath produced; whatsoever Nature has wrought in things that want life and may be kept; shall be sorted and included.” --Pinky Diablo

Pinky D Has An Enormous Responsibilty

This is the oracle that Pinky D must care for. He cannot tell you where it is, but it helps him with his psychic work. Pinky writes questions on strips of raw bacon and pokes them into the oracle. A positive answer creates a sweet smelling saffron smoke from the oracle. A negative answer results in a putrid steaming spray of sickening sludge. Pinky hates cleaning up after a negative answer so much that he rarely consults the oracle.

Pinky D is a Fine Chef

Pinky D is the IOOF cook for Monday night lodge meetings. He often tries new recipes, and prides himself on running a spotless kitchen. Here is a photo of a recent sit-down dinner for 18 that he catered for a friend.

October 15, 2005

How to Appeal to the Complaint Department of Diablo Inc.

Do you feel you have been unfairly characterized in a Pinky Diablo posting? Many of you have. Now you have the ability to appear before Pinky's Complaint Review Committee. Pinky has assembled the sternist jurists, educators, and business professionals to hear your complaint and then judge in favor of their employer. E-mail Pinky for the 273 page PDF file titled Application for Defamation Form 361-b. Best of luck with your complaint.

No Home Complete Without an Altar to Pinkness

Pinky Diablo has a special offer for you today only. For $79.95 + shipping, handling and prayer charges, you can own a complete altar to Pinkness. Altar is easily put together and contains an autographed photo of Pinky to start your worship of the pink in your life.

Miss Love Returns From Madagascar with Breeding Pair of Tiny Zebu

Pinky Diablo, Obsessed with Death #92 and Word of the Day

tontine \TAHN-teen\ noun: a joint financial arrangement whereby the participants usually contribute equally to a prize that is awarded entirely to the participant who survives all the others.

Example sentence: When all the participants in the tontine but one were murdered, you can guess who the primary suspect was.

Did you know? Tontines were named after their creator, a Neapolitan banker named Lorenzo Tonti. In 1653, Tonti convinced investors to buy shares in a fund he had created. Each year, the investors earned dividends, and when one of them died, his or her share of the profits was redistributed among the survivors. When the last investor died, the capital reverted to the state. Louis XIV of France used tontines to save his ailing treasury and to fund municipal projects, and private tontines (where the last surviving investor — and subsequently his or her heirs — got the cash instead of the state) became popular throughout Europe and the U.S. Eventually, though, tontines were banned; there was just too much temptation for unscrupulous investors to bump off their fellow subscribers.

Delicate Artwork Softens Pinky's Hardened Heart

Local sculptor Nadine recently carved an alabaster elephant foetus that is both precious and haunting. On a local cable access interview with art historian Pinky Diablo, she was asked how she carves with such lifelike precision. Nadine matter-of-factly answered, "I'm God." She then smote the cameraman and disappeared in a cloud of cumin-smelling smoke. Pinky was left with 28 minutes of dead air time.

One of Mrs. Frances Glessner Lee's Creations

Pinky Diablo Builds World's Tallest Pee Platform

Pinky, like every red-blooded American man, loves to pee outside. He now has a huge tower from which to pee. You may certainly not use his, but he will send you free blueprints so you can make your own.

Pinky Learns Origami

Pinky's first attempt was to recreate his sidekick. All that's missing is a tiny origami microphone.