November 30, 2005

The Effect Pinky Diablo Has on Most People

Tears of a Pink Clown

(Maybe from Pinky himself.)

Nadine Has Gone Off the Deep End. Pinky to Run Intervention

Pinky went to visit Nadine and offer an olive branch. Her apartment was filthy, and she was sitting on the floor with ripped open vacuum cleaner bags full of dust making little houses out of the dirt and lint. She looked like she hadn't bathed or eaten in days. Pinky is talking to her pastor about getting some help from the church.

Pinky Scraped His Side on the Barbed Wire Fence

While Pinky was chasing zebu this week, he cut his torso on the barbed wire fence. Miss Love insisted he go to the doctor. Dr. B. was totally incredulous. He couldn't accept Pinky's wound until he had touched it with his own finger. Pinky refused anitibiotics, choosing instead to go to the local herb lady who put on a sage and mayonaisse poultice. Pinky's fine now, but he has two big sores on the palms of his hands.

November 29, 2005

If You Can't Go to the Ocean...

...bring the ocean to you, with Diablo Inc.'s new Aqualine toilet seat. Now with three sea horses!

Redneck Princess

On her way to a royal sleep-over at the prince's double-wide.

Pinky Had Inmates at the Local Prison Build a Garden for Miss Love

Many of them were his old students who turned to a life of crime when he gave up teaching. Now he ministers to them in jail.

Pinky's Going Half Vegetarian

He can't decide to use this plate or an MWF kind of arrangement.

Pinky Diablo Needs a New Job

He's tired of sexing guinea pigs all day long.

Pinky Sez: The World is Your Oyster

But you better have a proper plate to serve it on.

All the Men That Proposed to Nadine the Summer She Had a Tan

She would have done well to marry any of them. (See Nadine's blog here.)

Pinky Can't Even Get His Ball Half Way Down the Lane

Could it have something to do with his new custom bowling ball?

November 28, 2005

Pinky Diablo's Bowl-a-Rama

Pinky has bowling in his veins. So he can't understand why his new drive-thru bowling alley's not taking off.

Pinky's Family Heirloom Ornament

This handmade German ornament has been passed down for generations in Pinky's family. The Diablo family is pretty sure it came over on the Mayflower. These little eyes have seen many Diablo Christmas brawls.

Join Pinky's Army of None

Pinky Diablo is Food Warden at His Lodge

Pinky made this yummy tater-tot casserole for his lodge brothers tonight. They all made the secret hand signal that means,"YUMMY!"

Pinky Sez: Plants are Sinners Too

The Pure Pink Milk of the Word

A Pinky Biographical Tidbit

Did you know that Pinky is an amateur archeologist?

The View from Up Here

Pinky sometimes misses the worldly interactions that those who don't live on such high pedestals enjoy, but the view is fan-f*cking-tastic!

The Exact Location Where Good Ends and Evil Begins

There is no gray area.

Pinky's Word of the Day (with Free Bonus Portrait)

Effulgence \ih-FULL-junss\ noun: radiant splendor : brilliance

Example sentence: Distracted by the perfection of the Mr. Diablo's physique, the struggling artist failed to capture Pinky's full effulgence.

Did you know? English speakers first took a shine to "effulgence" in the late 1600s, but it has older relatives in the English language. It derives from the Latin verb "fulg─ôre," which means "to shine," a word that is also the root of "fulgent," a synonym of "radiant" that English speakers have used since the 15th century. "Refulgence" also appeared in the 1600s — but in the earlier half — and has a close meaning to "effulgence." It means "a radiant or resplendent quality or state" and, like "effulgence," is synonymous with "brilliance."

Miss Love 101

If you realize that this is what Miss Love sees when she looks in the mirror, you will better understand her. Pinky has come to see her like this, too.

Gentle Reminder

Remember, Pinky D brand deviled egg filling comes in 50 gallon barrels!

November 27, 2005

Pinky Diablo Records Christmas CD with Orphaned Leopard Seal

When the seal wouldn't sing, Pinky jabbed it in the tail. (Do you know how much it costs to record a professional soundtrack in the Antarctic?!)

Pinky Went a Fishin'

It's a Beautiful Day in Pinky's Neighborhood Every Day!

Another Photo from Pinky's Thanksgiving Dinner

Diablo Inc. Makes Bio-Engineering Breakthrough

Since this is the only hybrid the research dept. could develop, the marketing dept. is having to work over-time to come up with a good use for these kiwi-mice. Pinky is putting pressure on the whole company because there are now 900,000 of these in the brooder facilities.

Diablo Inc. Typist Banished to Desert Isle

The typist who put an apostrophe on a verb ending in "s" in one of Pinky's blogs has been stripped of her title and sent to a deserted island in the middle of Pinky's stock tank. The former Baroness Von Billingheim will now be addressed as Edna. Nadine has been hired to supply individual casseroles that Edna can heat up in her second-hand microwave on her tiny island. Diablo Inc. has a no tolerance policy on apostrophe misuse. Other typos are tolerated.

A Horrible Attack

The same people did the same thing to Pinky's birthday cake last year. That's the last time he's inviting deviates, weirdos, homos and 4,000 cults to his birthday parties. He may be the only one there, but at least the cake won't be desecrated.

Try Pinky's Biohazard Sundae

Pinky Kills Two Birds with One Stone

In his spare time Pinky has been carving potatoes out of cedar chunks. He takes the shavings to the local elementary school for Mrs. Webb's 3rd grade class hamster.

Diablo Inc. Architectural Division

Pinky manufactures world's smallest house using only 22 concrete blocks and one bag of cement.

A Rose is a Rose is a Dried Kitten Head

November 26, 2005

Everybody Loves a Monkey

Elsa Schiaparelli Monkey Fur Shoes, 1938. Black suede and monkey fur.

Pinky Diablo's Pancake Palace

Pinky was planning to open a pancake house anyway, and then the perfect location came up where there were already two. Pinky loves riding on coat tails.

Pinky Made Landscape Cinnamon Toast for Breakfast

Pinky's Little Secret

Pinky Diablo was born with not just one silver spoon in his mouth, but six (and a pair of tongs).

Pinky's Great Adventure (or Pinky is an Indian Scout)

The cows were still gone, and Miss Love was crying and trying to explain to the sheriff's office what zebu were. Pinky put on his Indian feathers and scoured the creek. He tip-toed like an Indian scout looking for tell-tale signs. He followed tiny hoof prints, compared manure piles, and looked for disturbed leaves. Every so often he held his breath and was perfectly quiet, listening for rustling cows. Instead he found tires, bottles, baby toys, and more tires, all half buried in the sandy moist creek bed. He talked to a live armadillo and found the bones of a dead armadillo (he talked to it,too). Also, there was a purse hanging from a tree limb. It was full of dried mud with a wasp nest attached to the mirror. Finally he found the zebu with the rogue heifer that had led them all astray. Using his powers as a cow whisperer (and the knowledge he has learned from Temple Grandin), he coaxed them back toward the Fancher Love Ranch. Hours later, they were all in but Cubby and Loretta. Pinky did what 5 other men, one woman, and the sheriff couldn't do.

Pinky Exposes Nadine's Exaggeration

Pinky is not obsessed with his feud between Nadine and himself, but he would like to point out the truth. Here is the cake that Nadine claimed won first prize at the Ennis Bluebonnet Festival. You can clearly see that it only received an honorable mention. To see what Nadine claims is her winning doll cake click here.

November 25, 2005

Pinky and Miss Love are Laughing All the Way to the Apocalypse

Pinky Diablo: Obsessed with Death #157

Cross section of cadaver with pessary still in place supporting prolapsed uterus.

The Film is Back from Yesterday

Here are Pinky's friends gathered at the edge of the yard watching Pinky smoke his turkey.

Guess Which Line Pinky Wrote

Pinky Freaked Out

It really disturbs Pinky to find images on the internet that are just like his dreams.

Pinky's Biggest Ever

Miss Love shows off Pinky's latest kidney stone.