When Uncle Warburton Died (May 1900)

"Oh, for some mature sympathy. There is no one to condole, no one to reason feelingly and enter into one's loneliness. Flo is not interested and not wounded by the grief. Barringtons are strangers. Fred seems to be unaffected or our natures are so dissimilar that we do not even understand each other. Teddy is quite indifferent and self engrossed. Joe and Dorking are far away. Sarah and the others are bitter and cold. Uncle Warburton dead, and me left in lonely, deserted grief without a shadow of human sympathy at hand."

Pre Fetus Pinky

Granny D remembers when Pinky was just a gleam in Pableau X's eye.

Thanks to Pinky's Rhino Pals

Just when Pinky was feeling that his animal ministry was going nowhere, the Gilmer-Metcalves pooled their lunch money and put a big smile on Pinky's face. The rhinos will have a hot bowl of soup and a bedtime story tonight! (actually, Pinky has raised almost $3000 for his zoo keeper association fundraiser, thanks to generous contributions from his brick and mortar friends. The Gilmer-Metcalves are the only folks who have donated via this blog, so hats off to them. By the way, G-M's, who is the member who signs his/her name with an enigmatic "X"?)

Pinky Wishes He Had Been a Zoo Keeper 75 Years Ago

Little Known Verse from Leviticus

Why Does Miss Love Insist Her Miniature Zebu are so Tiny?

Uncle Poot had one Unfortunate Indescretion with a Possum

Craigslist Poetry: Free in Dallas

Live Black Widow

A FEW LITTLE ITEMS THATS ALL

free small clown cake

Mexican Petunias

COLOSTOMY SUPPLIES

HUGE amount of mismatched socks

An Excerpt from Pinky's Short Story "Baby Nubbums" (Based on Someone You Know if You are a Regular Reader of Pinky's Blog.)

Baby Nubbums was famous for miles around. Folks wanted to see the toddler that climbed Earlynn Love’s TV tower. For nearly four years Baby Nubbums sat in the muddy indentation next to the screen door of the family trailer home gathering energy for the Great Climb. Before the Great Climb folks saw only a slowly growing pale lump of a child in an overflowing, tight-fitting diaper. After the Great Climb they saw a diaper full of CELEBRITY. Only Baby Nubbums’ father was not impressed with his toddler’s Rite of Passage. “Get out of the way, you big lump,” he shouted, stepping over the mud hole carrying a 12-pack and a week-end’s supply of snack crackers. Baby Nubbums’ mud hole was moist even though there hadn’t been a drop of rain all August. Talk was all around town, from the post office to the Dairy Queen: how could such a pasty, slippery slug-a-bug who had never been seen crawling, much less walking, manage to climb the tallest tower in the Tri-Counties?

Lonely Giraffe

Pinky's Watercolors Can Sometimes be Sweet

If you consider standing knee-deep in a sea of blood sweet.

See Pinky in the Flesh

Thursday, May 22, is a rare opportunity to see Pinky D in the flesh. From 5:30-9:30 PM at Gray Matters Gallery, 113 N. Haskell Ave in Dallas, TX, Pinky and Miss Love will be hosting a gala art exhibition benefiting Pinky's zoo keeper association and rhino conservation. Required donation of $5. Free beer while it lasts. Animal fabric art by the Tom and Judy Show. Watercolors galore by Pinky himself, and photos by Ken Craft of Pinky as Darwin. (Hey you GilmerMetcalves, this sounds like a roadtrip! Bring the band and a bag of kazoos and serenade the zoo keepers of America.)

Mrs. Wilhelmina Besslerkatzen-Smith

Wilhelmina Besslerkatzen-Smith arrives daily at the zoo where Pinky works at 6:00 AM sharp. Pinky and his fellow zoo keepers are standing at attention with shovels in hand and she inspects them from head to toe. (Mrs. Besslerkatzen-Smith inherited the zoo from her late husband, Selmer "Bring 'em Back Alive" Smith.) Pinky is on the short list to work at her mansion as her private monkey keeper. This would include laying out their daily outfits, ironing, etc. Today she gave Pinky a slight nod which made him think he might have made the cut.

Perverts

Darwin Does Dallas

Here is the much sought after but rarely seen Pinky D posing for his friend Ken Craft for a series of painting about Charles Darwin. Darwin is supposed to be onboard the Beagle in this shot, but Pinky's farmhouse window is not much like a 19th century port hole. Both Darwin and Pinky have a passing fascination with thirsty dying birds.

Unnatural Attraction

Just So You Know

Pinky Always Wears the Proper Clothes for the Job

More One-Armed Zoo Keeper Nightmares

And Pinky Wept

Pinky was looking through some of his odd belongings and came upon a handwritten notebook from a school boy from 1932. In the back was a poetic recipe for salt dough:

2 spoonfuls salt
3 spoonfuls flower
stir in enough water to make a past

Pinky Repeatedly Dreams He is the One-Armed Zoo Keeper

A Match Destined for Heaven

Uncle Poot always fantasized about a woman with a tiny hat. Aunt Tizby hated to have her face shaded by her head toppers. They lived a simple happy life often eating fried baloney. Aunt Tizby never left the house without one of her diminutive hats perched atop her friendly visage.

Zoo Nightmares are the Worst

Shameless Promotion

April 23, 2008

Dear Friend of Pinky,

Firstly, you are way out of the loop if you don’t know that I have an alter-ego named Pinky Diablo. This started out rather tongue and cheek, but has evolved into something quite out of my hands. Pinky has been in the art and preaching business going on 5 years now. While this may sound frivolous and ridiculous to some of you more literal folks, Pinky has provided artistic and spiritual guidance to countless creative people in need. He has married fourteen couples (all still married), presided over countless funerals where families would otherwise have had to rely on preachers unfamiliar with the needs of FOP’s (friends of Pinky), and brought humor to some of the darkest places on the map (like San Antonio, Pilot Point, Houston and Galveston).

The Pinky side of me has been less active now that I quit my teaching career of twenty years and have taken a job at the Dallas Zoo as a zoo keeper. The pay is low—the hours long—the piles high, but I wouldn’t trade it for all the bananas in the world!

I have joined the American Association of Zoo Keepers and have decided to let Pinky help me with some fundraising. The Dallas chapter of AAZK has an annual event to support rhino conservation around the world. (Heaven knows the native North Central Texas Suburban Rhinoceros has all but disappeared thanks to urban sprawl!)

If Pinky has touched your life in some way, please consider helping Pinky and me raise money for the AAZK June Bowling for Rhinos event. Here are some ways you can help:

Send a check of any amount made out to Dallas AAZK to: Tom Sale, 327 Krajca Rd., Ennis, Texas 75119. I have received checks from $2 to $500! This donation is tax deductible, and who knows, if you or your organization gives enough, you could adopt a zoo keeper (for real-- if anyone has ties to corporate donors, I would be happy to come give a presentation about my work as a zoo keeper!)

If shucking out bucks for nothing isn’t your cup of tea—may Pinky and I appeal to your literary side? My kind Trilobite Press owning father has published a 45 page story of mine entitled The Sad and Lovely Life of Mr. Loomis. For a donation to rhino conservation in the amount of $10 or more, a signed copy of this book will be delivered by return post to your very own mailbox.

Maybe you need liquor. On Thursday evening, May 22, 2008, from 5:30-9 PM, Pinky is hosting an exhibit of works by himself, Ken Craft (who has created a series of drawings of Charles Darwin’s life using Pinky as a model), and fabric artist to the stars, Miss Judy Vetter. This event will take place at Gray Matters Gallery, 113 N. Haskell Ave, Dallas, Texas. Admittance will be a $5 donation to The Cause, but you can recoup your investment with the free alcoholic refreshments. Come meet some zoo keepers and art collectors.

Pass this invitation on to friends and colleagues who might have a soft spot for some good old-fashioned rhino conservation (or maybe who has met Pinky in his travels around the state.)

Pray for rhinos. No money is necessary for this approach and Pinky somewhat firmly believes in the power of prayer and meditation, especially when it is not focused on your own person gain—monetary or otherwise. (Pinky’s personal pet prayer project is praying for all the dead birds in the word.)

Pinky believes that a little humor and compassion go a long way to healing the ills of the world (so please bear with his quirkiness). You can see by all of Pinky’s activities and projects that he is a busy little monkey and quite serious about this effort. Help out a down and out rhino today.

Sincerely,Pinky Diablo

Tom can be contacted at tomfsale@hughes.net or at 214 244 9551 if you need more info or a personal counseling session. Pinky’s antics can be followed at www.oneandonlypinky.blogspot.com

99% True (and only 10 Hours Old)

A few hours after Pinky left for the zoo today (5:45 AM) Miss Love awoke to see this apparition at the front door (The color is only slightly enhanced to heightened the effect--thus the 1% lie). The errant goat does not belong to anyone nearby, and Miss Love was able to lead it (Unicorn and Virgin style) into the barn where it awaits its fate. Pinky is sure this is part of God's plan for him. He can't wait to see what it has turned into in the morning!

Nadine Tries Her Hand at Zoo Keeping

"The hardest thing about my new profession is getting the bows just so," Nadine was overheard telling the ladies at the club.

The Problem with Blogging

Pinky has learned some shocking news that made him almost retract his last post. However, he realized God would know he has made a false accusation whether or not the post remained. It turns out that Pinky's (well founded) suspicions might have to be retracted. Stuck to the back of the previous photo of Uncle Poot and Puta Bonita was this lovingly hand-tinted photo. On the back of it in Uncle Poot's barely recognizable script is scrawled: Mrs. P. Caledonia Gilmer-Metcalf, Cairo, 1928, two nights in paradise. Pinky may be having a family reunion with the surviving Gilmer-Metcalves soon.

Them Gilmer-Metcalves is Stalkers

In a previous comment, the cyber-stalking Gilmer-Metcalves talked about a family pet named Puta Bonita. Well, this just proves their cyber-(and pre-cyber)stalkiness. Here is a photo of Uncle Poot in 1928 during his "Egypt Period." He is sitting next to his trusty camel named Puta Bonita. How did these Gilmer-Metcalves end up with the same name for a pet if they (or their predecessors) haven't been snooping around the Diablo clan for years?

Creepiness at the Hippo Pond

Somebody's been throwing really disturbing polaroids into the hippo enclosure. This is the 72nd one found in as many days.