Suffer the Little Monkeys

The Experiment Continues

Perhaps, in addition to a warthog, Monet's paintings need fewer colors and less white.

Heaping Insult Upon Injury

Today Pinky was being tested by Jesus. He saw a white sedan with "Haliburton" painted on it. As Pinky looked closely to see his tax dollars at work, the driver began picking his nose vosiferously. The sight was so wrong in so many ways, Pinky decided it must be an angel heavensent to test his love for the human race. Pinky failed, and the angel kept picking his nose for several more minutes.

Real Men Prey

Let Pinky be Your John (the Baptist)

Diablo Inc. occaisonally searches the internet for copyright infringements against Pinky. But they have now found a site that takes the cake. Here are some words and phrases associated with the good name of Pinky Diablo on a porno site: dead bird fetish, a man whose head had been pierced in one side and out the other injun arrow style by a weasel, Jack Nicholson, dunce cap, cartoon rats, hand job in a hot tub, Pinky's john, and the list goes on. The Diablo Inc. legal dept. is looking into closing this confusing internet site on which Pinky is not so subtly accused of prostitution. TO see this bizarre mishmash mention of odd characters and Pinky click HERE. (For credible information on hiring Pinky, please leave requests in comment area below.)

No, But Pinky Would!

Sisters: Want and Ignorance

Difficult Choice

If Pinky were given the choice to be a carrot or a snail for a day, he would have a difficult time deciding which to be.

What Does Pinky Do When in Rome?

Pinky was cleaning out some notebooks when he found a flow chart he had written in Italy a few years ago. It is apparently an outline of a story about a boy who accidentally becomes pope on a visit to the Vatican. It makes little sense to Pinky now. Here is a sampling (minus the confusing visual chart part.)

Starts in TX as toddler
Things to know: finger paints w nuns, nuns love him, protect him from Vatican curates with evil eye stares
Changes to Vatican procedures: curates fight and push for status quo, Alex pushes for toaster waffles, chicken fingers, confusion
Papal dresser
Garibaldi, why isn't he bald yet
espresso, gelato, biscotti
Likes colored things: blocks, blue bottle caps, grandmother's earrings, Swiss guard
Grandmother raises his, she looks like old dead pope
finds secret booger place on throne
oozing precociousness like a marmalade sandwich pressed by a priestly fat hand
ant farm reliquary
now old pope falls out hospital window waving like Icarus in bed sheet
red hair curly, 4 years old, almost invisible eyelashes like halos
catacombs, animals, loves cats and parakeets
need to know: hierarchy of Vatican, how conclave works, smoke, who bakes the host
ice cream vendors, Nascar

The Eye of God

The Diablo Family Patch

Every Diablo family member has this patch on their windbreakers, gimme caps, and undergear.

Poor, Poor Nadine

Nadine has lost yet another job. This time she was fired from the local fireworks stand for shooting off roman candles into the line of customers and shouting, "Here comes the apocalypse. Run for your lives." Pinky has taken pity on her and hired her to dust his collection of Styrofoam chunks. She has been a little rough with them, but Pinky is too kind hearted to scold her.

Unnatural Attraction

Pinky Loves a Good Pie Chart

Why Pinky Can't Remember Anything

Last Night Pinky Dreamed he Flew to Africa to Save the Savanna Creatures

It was a happy dream until he landed.

This Snail was Kidnapped by a Pirate and Forced to Walk the Plank

(For you macologically challenged, you are supposed to imagine what happens when the snail gets to the end of the plank and the pirate says, "aargh.")

Another Little Known Fact about Pinky and Nadine

When Nadine was 12 she made a mask for herself in the image of Pinky. She then strolled into Pinky's house and took his place at the dinner table. None of the Diablo clan even noticed that it was not their own little Pinky D. Granny D even complemented the faux Diablo on his extra good job he did combing his hair.

Nadine is Full of Dirty Little Secrets

In 1942, she was Erath county's Aluminum Shavings Queen. When Pinky confronted her with this photo she simply shrugged and said, "These days, truth is hard to come by."