December 25, 2005

Damn, what a smelly house! What's all that mooing and scratching? I just dropped down the chimney to leave of a package for Miss Love and a bag of coal for Pinky Diablo, and the computer was on--so I thought I'd let you know how the cow really ate the cabbage. Pinky said he'd help with delivery this year, but he was always off somewhere else with that little pink trailer. He's got the Mrs. wrapped around his little finger. All I hear is, "Pinky this! Pinky that." Well, I say Pinky can go screw himself! There's not one lazy elf I'd trade for 50 Pinkys. And you've never heard such outrageous demands on me as from Pinky all his sheltered f*cking life. When he was 6 he asked for an electric cookie. Now, what in the hell is an electric cookie?! R&D wasted 6 months before I told them Pinky was just trying to get my goat. Now that I think of it, Santa's gonna deposit a special package for Pinky right here on his keyboard. The place is so filthy, he probably won't even notice it. By the way, if you read this before I make it to your place, I've kinda lost my appetite being here, so don't put out the cookies. Porno and scotch would really hit the spot about now. Merry Christmas!--SC