And God pulled one of Adam's 674 ribs and created Eve as a companion for him. God said, "Children, find the tree of knowledge and eat the fruit from it and ye shall have dominion over all the creatures of the world." But when Eve slithered over t0 the tree, there was a fat, naked human woman vomiting upon the ground from eating all the fruit. Eve said, "You disgusting bitch, look what you've done to us now. I put a curse of you and your children and your children's children. Henceforth you will live on Wal-Mart packaged food and be even more obese and more stupid" Adam and Eve left the Garden of Eden and crawled under a rock, determined to bite every human they saw henceforth.
