Dear God,
This is my third plea this week, and I'm afraid it will have to be my last (unless you respond). Obviously you are not interested in the major social concerns which I addressed in my last prayers, so this time I am asking for something more selfish. Make icebergs pink! There is too much blue out there on the open sea. Of course, I'm aware that sunsets, sunrises, etc. can create some lovely pink streaks in the clouds and reflections on the water, but I'm talking about knock-your-socks-off day-glo pink. The kind where you think you've been kidnapped by pirates and fed LSD in your hard tack. Can you imagine (duh--you're God) what Shackleton's men would have done if one morning they crawled out of their makeshift tents and saw their ship, the Endurance, swallowed by glowing pink icebergs?! They might have believed in you more. (Thanks, though, for saving every one of those men, however. On the otherhand, I suppose they just survived to go back to dreary ol' un-pink England to lead long lives of bubble and squeak and gossip about whether they turned to penguins for comfort during their two year hellish adventure. By the way, nobody ever talks about all those cute puppies they ate, big shot.) Think what this could do for the tourist industry in Newfoundland and Labrador. If you need any help choosing an appropriate hue, I am humbly at your service.
Quickly moving from Agnostic to Atheist, Pinky.
