Pinky's Zoo FAQ's

Pinky's friends are wondering why he has suddenly left the zoo. Here are answers to a few of the questions that have poured in from across the country.

Why are you leaving the zoo?
The zoo was one of the greatest adventures Pinky has ever had. The pay was CRAZY low and the hours long. Pinky had no time to work on his opera, “The Zoo Keeper’s Lament.” Both Pinky and his co-workers are sorry to part ways. Supervisors hope Pinky comes to his senses and have left the door open for Pinky’s return. Pinky will now be seen more on the social circuit.

Will you ever settle down and get a real job?
No.

Do you have any Pinky Diablo T-shirts left?
Sorry, no.

Did you abscond with the Rhino money?
No. Pinky raised almost $3000 for his local Zoo Keeper Association chapter and duly turned it all over to the proper Rhino authorities. Thanks for all who contributed!

Do you have future animal plans?
Yes. Pinky wants to open the first ever drive through possum sanctuary. He is awaiting sponsorship.

When can we see you next?
Pinky will be at the Dolly Python open house and shopping party this Saturday (July 12) 6-?PM in Dallas, TX on Haskell Ave. Pinky is still working at the zoo through this week so he will be leaving before 9PM.

Is there going to be a new Pinky Diablo trailer since the last one burned?
Yes. Stay tuned. Pinky has a smaller trailer that he can pull with a harness that is being worked on as you read this. There is probably a cross-country walk involved with it in the near future.

Will that correspond with the opera opening?
Probably not. The opera is several years out.

If you have further questions that require individual response, don’t hesitate to email.

Sincerely,
Director of Public Relations and Operatic Funding
Diablo Inc.

Diablo Inc. Saves World Economic Crisis!

In these troubled times, people need comfort food. It is with this goal in mind that Diablo Inc. has hired Earline Saint-Marie to be the face of its new food division. Miss Saint-Marie will be traveling the world promoting Diablo Inc.'s new 50 gallon barrel of Pinky D's Sun Cured Deviled Egg Filling (in fact, it is the only product currently available in Diablo Inc.'s Saving the World One Deviled Egg at a Time food division). Miss Saint-Marie will be showing up in your town soon with a troupe of dyed poodles performing tricks on, in, and around 50 gallon barrels of the delicious product. Get in line to taste a spoonful, and you'll want to roll home at least 2 barrels of your own!

New Employees at Diablo Inc.

The offshore feline call center has been closed down due to employee apathy. Pea hens have been hired temporarily to take care of office business and to make Pinky's coffee.

SIgn on Truck

Pinky read this sign on a semi yesterday:
THIS COMPANY WAS FOUNDED ON THE VISION OF A BLIND MAN.
Pinky thought, "That ain't no big deal--Diablo Inc. was founded on the blindness of a visionary."

Visit the New Pinky Diablo Toddler Museum

Diablo Inc. has recently opened the doors to the new 54 million dollar museum honoring the life of Pinky D from age 2 to 5. Pinky was a well-known bully whom the neighborhood children called Mr. Moto. Here is the shoe Pinky used to kick their little asses.

Counting and Forgetfulness

On Oct. 28 Pinky obviously counted a lot of something. The only problem is he can't remember what! From empirical deduction, Pinky is sure it is not fire ant bites received, dollars donated, or dead meercats in the freezer (there were only 13). If you have any idea, please call the Diablo Inc. offshore feline call center.

Job Opportunities

Diablo Inc. is searching for 40 Pinky lookalikes to head parade teams in all parts of the country. Two additional positions are available in Guam as well.

Bookkeeping Error

Why are there 3,029 brides in Pinky's 1950 line-up but only 3, 028 grooms?

Pinky has Gone Through 63 Board of Director Presidents This Week

Odd Prayer Request

Pinky is calling on his flock for help. He has interviewed at the local zoo for an Animal Keeper position. He is confident the interview went well (considering the ridiculous Crocodile Hunter get-up he was wearing), but a little mojo from his friends wouldn’t hurt. Please follow these directions and return your mojo sentence to Pinky. Extra Pinky Heaven Points if you send this to your group of friends and have them send Pinky their zoo keeper prayer.

Pinky __________s ______________.
(blank #1 should have a verb that is about caring for animals)
(blank #2 should have a type of animal you can imagine Pinky handling)
Appropriate adverbs and adjectives are welcome.

Examples:
Pinky hugs the naked mole rats.
Pinky gives solace to a dwarf mongoose.
Pinky carefully combs the hissing Madagascar coachroach.

(Beware: Pinky will send you to Hell if you get too out of hand with your verbs. After all, this is to develop an aura of positive ions around the zoo hiring committee—not a stink of perverseness.)

Thanks in advance,
Senior Vice-President in Charge of Keeping Pinky Off the Street
Diablo Inc.

Pinky's New Personal Assistant/Body Guard

Try Pinky's New Driving Game

Replace the name PINKY DIABLO for any brand name you see on a passing billboard. They all work! Examples:

Pinky Diablo! Berry Fresh!
Pinky Diablo: The Only Thing I Worry About is Running Out
Pinky Diablo: Unlimited Minutes!
Pinky Diablo: If You Can't Find Him, You're in a Foreign Country
Pinky Diablo: It's One Sweet Ride
Pinky Diablo: Dissolves Fat, No Surgery, No Sweating, No Kidding

Browse Pinky's Blog by Labels

Click on any word or phrase that intrigues you listed below each blog entry. You will find several blogs that fit that particular theme. One of Pinky's favorites is gastroporn.

Diablo Inc.'s New Line of Wigs for Cows

40,000 French Escargot Have Been Employed to Iraq

Thanks to new ballistic technology developed by Diablo Inc.

Pinky Like to Explain Things With Charts

Is Pinky Really Just a Middle-Aged Gigolo

Pandas, Bandits, and Pundits: The Pinky Diablo Story

Pinky's Yard Sale

One of Many Departments at Diablo Inc.