Pinky Can Only Hope

Pinky wants a lot of weeping and wailing at his funeral. Will Miss Love have to hire professional wailers, or does Pinky have enough hillbilly followers to put on a good show (complete with speaking in tongues)?

When Pinky Gets on a Roll...

Pinky's Impending Death

Pinky's planning a simple funeral and a nondescript tombstone. There will be only one marble New Yorker strewn on the marble bedside.

Pinky's Court Artist Created This Image of Pinky's Bovine Adventure

Diablo Inc.'s New Death Tid-Bits #1

Queen Victoria insisted on being buried with the bathrobe of her long-dead husband, Prince Albert, and a plaster cast of his hand.

Tiny Icarus

Diablo Inc. executives were Googling Pinky's name (as well as his alter ego's) and found this tiny sculpture that Pinky made years ago. It showed up on a recent Dallas art tour site. They also found a photo of a Chicago area fan wearing a bootleg Pinky Diablo t-shirt. (The wearer shouldn't worry too much--the marketing execs don't communicate well with the legal dept. here at Diablo Inc.)

Pinky Might be Your Judas Horse

Judas horse is term used to describe a domestic horse which has been trained to lead wild horses into a trap. A judas horse is often used when capturing wild mustangs. Once the wild horses are coerced into an area near the trap, the Judas horse is released. Its job is then to move to the head of the herd and lead them to the trap. Already confused and looking for direction, the wild horses instinctively follow the leader into the trap.

Excerpt from Pinky's Last Will and Testament

Item, Forasmuch as it is very hard to keep land in repair without ready cash, I do, out of my personal estate, bestow the bearskin, which I have frequently lent to several societies about this town, to supply their necessities. I say, I give also the said bearskin, as an immediate fund to the said citizens for ever.

Doorway to Hell

When Uncle Warburton Died (May 1900)

"Oh, for some mature sympathy. There is no one to condole, no one to reason feelingly and enter into one's loneliness. Flo is not interested and not wounded by the grief. Barringtons are strangers. Fred seems to be unaffected or our natures are so dissimilar that we do not even understand each other. Teddy is quite indifferent and self engrossed. Joe and Dorking are far away. Sarah and the others are bitter and cold. Uncle Warburton dead, and me left in lonely, deserted grief without a shadow of human sympathy at hand."

Zoo Nightmares are the Worst

Your Body is Like a Popsicle

Your flesh will melt one day from the bone.

Last Night Pinky Dreamed he Flew to Africa to Save the Savanna Creatures

It was a happy dream until he landed.

Pinky's Giraffe Nightmares are Getting More Disturbing

Parakeets-n-Death (Letter Forwarded to Pinky from a Bereaved Miss Williams)

February 21, 2008

Dear Miss Williams,

We are saddened (as we are sure you are, too) at the tragic loss of our longtime mammal keeper Jaime Von Busselstieffer on Valentine’s Day. You probably want to know more specific details about her early death, but the lawyers here at the zoo, have ask us not to relay any information other than the fact that Jaime was a hapless victim of interspecies aggression involving parakeets and tapirs. We can, however, report that the tapir is recovering nicely and will soon have most of his fur back.

Jaime, unbeknownst to us, had no family and had been secretly living in the hay loft in the elephant house. She left the zoo every day with the other keepers, but apparently returned each night to the zoo. We found her complete 37 year subscription to National Geographic, her uniforms, and a jar of artichoke hearts in her makeshift hay cave. In the June 1972 issue of National Geographic, we discovered a handwritten last will and testament where she left this zoo jacket to you. While it is technically zoo property, we felt that (under the circumstances) the rules should be bent a bit. We would also like to invite you to a special candlelight memorial service tomorrow evening honoring Jaime and the 730 dead parakeets that the poor tapir bravely fought off until Jaime arrived to break up the disturbance. The remaining 6,920 parakeets are being sent to renowned animal trainer Wanda Pillars for retraining. We expect no similar incidents in the future and are rethinking the need to house over 7,000 parakeets at our facility.

Sincerely,
H.J. “Happy” Brown
Director
Falls City Zoo
Falls City, Iowa

Pinky's Not Expecting a Happy Valentine's Day

Dealings with the Devil

Pinky would sell his soul to the devil in the flick of an okapi's tail if he could paint dead birds like Jean-Baptiste Oudry. (Fans know of Pinky's passing interest in painting potatoes, but Pinky thinks he could master them without satanic intervention). But Oudry paints dead animals like an angel.

Prayer Could Have Saved Her

Pinky D Prays for Every Dead Bird Around the World

BAGHDAD (Reuters) - A bomb hidden in a box of birds killed 13 people and wounded 57 at a popular pet market in central Baghdad on Friday, police and witnesses said, describing the deadliest attack in the Iraqi capital in two months. Body parts were strewn among bird carcasses as bystanders piled victims into carts and rushed them to ambulances after the blast at the Ghazil pet market, which was crowded at the time. The pet market, a popular weekend spectacle, sells a colorful range of creatures from guard dogs and monkeys to parrots, pigeons and tropical fish. Bystanders and stallholders covered their noses with masks because of the stench after the bombing.

Death is a Golden Trucker on the I-45 of Life

(photo courtesy of Granny D)