The Diablo Ancestral Home

The pink window marks the spot of the unspeakable family tragedy of 1892.

Pinky in Negotiations with Zoo

After the tiger escaped from the zoo, zoo officials decided to change direction with that exhibit. They are in negotiations with Pinky to live in this cave and play the part of St. Francis. He would be surrounded by parakeets, puppies and squirrels. Pinky is holding out for a pink robe instead of St. Francis's usual brown number. He would go down on his knees at the top of each hour and hold his hands out where a laser beam would simulate the power of God sending down his stigmata. Pinky also is demanding an hour and a half for lunch and the use of an iPod.

Pinky's Morals Have Dropped a Notch

This is the orange that Pinky plucked from an orange tree in the garden of the Medici Palace in Florence. He felt so guilty, that he had to spread the sin around by feeding pieces of it to his parents, Pableau X and Granny D. (They didn't know until afterwards where this divine fruit came from.) It was blood red on the inside and tasted like it was grown in heaven. As the juice dribbled down his chin, Pinky worried about his mortality.

Italian Nightmares Hound Pinky D

Pinky has been having crazy nightmares since returning from his Italian tour. Last night he dreamed that the Academy (which houses Michelangelo's David) was filled with pink mud. Pinky walked through it leaving pink mud footprints. As he walked by the huge David, the sculpture farted.

Pinky's Pronouncement on Italian Painting

Pinky's finally back from his 4 week tour of Italy. He preached in 17 towns and villages, ate 423 pounds of pasta,and drank 122 bottles of Chianti and 83 and a half bottles of Prosecco. He also decided that he would only look and the bottom 9 inches of any painting over 36' tall. He realized that Italian painters of every period had a toe fetish.

Try a Pink Thing at the Zoo!

Pinky's Aching Heart

Pinky receives the first ever Radicchio heart transplant.