July 29, 2008

Are the Sweet Ladies from Georgia Still Following Pinky's Blog?! (He Knows the Chicago Area is on to Him Now!)

Two Wood Choppers Step Away from the Campfire for a Minute....


(sorry, Pinky can't remember the rest of the joke.)

Pinky Heals the Hurting (Humans and Animals Alike)

Just put your chicken wing to the screen and proclaim loudly, "Out, Demons!"

Pinky has done Prostituted Hisself

Today Pinky was hired to paint all day for a client who has a dead bird fetish. Here is the chicken he painted in the morning (wearing only his underwear and cowboy hat). She preferred dead parakeets and pigeons. By the afternoon Pinky had geared up the dead bird painting to paint the sweetest little dead parakeet in a little red dunce cap. It almost made him cry.

July 28, 2008

Pinky is New Choir Director of First Abyssinian Avian Choir

Pinky Often Dreams He has to Rescue Miss Love from Perilous Situations

Miss Love often dreams Pinky interupts her adventures in the most ridiculous and dramatic ways.

Illegal Photo


Pinky wasn't supposed to photograph animals behind the scenes at the zoo. Oh, well! What are they gonna do, fire him?!

Another Sad Little Note to Shelf

Sad Little Note

July 22, 2008

Difficult Choice


If Pinky were given the choice to be a carrot or a snail for a day, he would have a difficult time deciding which to be.

Pinky Went to See a Man About a Chicken

He didn't expect someone to paint a mural about it.

July 20, 2008

Miss Love has been Building Follies in the Backyard by Moonlight

A Set Designer Sent from Heaven

This morning Pinky awoke to a honking car horn in his rural driveway. As he hurriedly tried to get his pants on and cover his tattoos, a short round woman with a huge beehive hair-do stepped out of the Monte Carlo with a box that could only have been containing a huge wedding cake. It was not a huge wedding cake, however. Miss Alma Bacon, set designer to the stars, had arrived all the way from Cleburne, Texas with the first maquette of many she plans on designing for Pinky's opera, The Zoo Keeper's Lament. (It came complete with miniature spot lights, too!) Can't you just imagine the miniature hippo resting on this golden hay pile serenading the barn rats?! Pinky about wet his pants.

What Does Pinky Do When in Rome?

Pinky was cleaning out some notebooks when he found a flow chart he had written in Italy a few years ago. It is apparently an outline of a story about a boy who accidentally becomes pope on a visit to the Vatican. It makes little sense to Pinky now. Here is a sampling (minus the confusing visual chart part.)

Starts in TX as toddler
Things to know: finger paints w nuns, nuns love him, protect him from Vatican curates with evil eye stares
Changes to Vatican procedures: curates fight and push for status quo, Alex pushes for toaster waffles, chicken fingers, confusion
Papal dresser
Garibaldi, why isn't he bald yet
espresso, gelato, biscotti
Likes colored things: blocks, blue bottle caps, grandmother's earrings, Swiss guard
Grandmother raises his, she looks like old dead pope
finds secret booger place on throne
oozing precociousness like a marmalade sandwich pressed by a priestly fat hand
ant farm reliquary
now old pope falls out hospital window waving like Icarus in bed sheet
red hair curly, 4 years old, almost invisible eyelashes like halos
catacombs, animals, loves cats and parakeets
need to know: hierarchy of Vatican, how conclave works, smoke, who bakes the host
ice cream vendors, Nascar

July 18, 2008

Where is Jesus When You Need Him?!

Security guard listing on Craigslist:

Job Functions:

1. Patrols, periodically, ministry buildings and grounds.

2. Examines doors, window, and gates to determine that they are secure.

3. Warns violators of rule infractions, such as loitering, smoking, or carrying forbidden articles, and apprehends or expels persons engaging in suspicious or criminal acts.

4. Watches for and reports irregularities such as fire hazards, leaking water pipes, and security doors left unlocked.

5. Regulates vehicle and pedestrian traffic to maintain orderly flow.

6. Observes departing personnel to guard against theft of company property.

7. Sounds alarm or calls police or fire department by telephone in case of fire or presence of unauthorized persons.

8. Records data such as property damage, unusual occurrences, and malfunctioning of machinery or equipment, for use of supervisory staff.

Minimum Qualifications:

1. Must maintain a growing walk with Jesus Christ through the ongoing spiritual disciplines of Bible reading, prayer, personal worship, fasting, confession, and fellowship.

July 17, 2008

Try Diablo Inc's New Beet, Radicchio and Lemoncello Flavored Chips

$4.95 per chip (but isn't it beautiful enough to hang on your living room wall?)

Nadine's Got a New Job

Nadine was hired at the Bardwell Burger Barn. During her interview with the manager she was asked to explain a personal weakness. She stated that she had a problem managing leftovers. The B3 (as locals call the Bardwell Burger Barn) agreed to hire her with the condition that she enter a leftover 12-step program. Pinky thinks her main weakness is not having a car and relying on a large balloon to get her to and from work. Pinky knows that when the wind is blowing from the east in the evening he will be driving to Cleburne to pick Nadine up in some cotton field.

The Eye of God

It's In Pinky's DNA to Want to Draw Trees

Here's his Great Grandfather Diablo drawing a noble sycamore in 1902

July 16, 2008

The Diablo Family Patch

Every Diablo family member has this patch on their windbreakers, gimme caps, and undergear.

Pinky Lost the Pattern to Make Sock Monkeys

His turned out to look more like a Golem.

GilmerMetcalves Throw Down


The song title is: Chicken Contemplating Her Own Mortality. What is the first verse? (Pinky supposes other musicians and lyricists than the GilmerMetcalves may participate--but only if they take this seriously. If not, they will be banned from PinkyNation.)

Uncle Poot's Fourth Wife at the Beach Attracting Onlookers

Uncle Poot, as you remember, made his fourth wife in his workshop (a la Pygmalion). Here she is at the beach. (Nobody in Pinky's family can remember her name. But she made a mean macaroni salad!)

Specialists Produce Pee, We All Produce Pee!

July 13, 2008

Pinky's Drive Through Possum Sanctuary is Gaining Momentum

Here is a proposed display of a hillbilly mountain house w/ porchful of possums. (Possums were rented for this photo shoot.) Coming next is Grey Gardens attic full of possums with Big Edie animatronic figure.

July 10, 2008

Pinky is Terrified


Pinky has had a premonition that he will become a one-armed zoo keeper. The problem is he only has 4 days left at his zoo keeping gig. He will have to be VERY careful the next few days. Here's a little ditty he painted to deal with his fear.

July 9, 2008

This is Pinky's 2,943rd Posting on This Blog


To be celebrated with an illustration from an important moment in the history of the Diablo family.

One of Pinky's Favorite Philosophies


"From the combination of two seemingly unrelated objects often comes the most important discoveries"
--Susan Armstrong-Buck

Poor, Poor Nadine

Nadine has lost yet another job. This time she was fired from the local fireworks stand for shooting off roman candles into the line of customers and shouting, "Here comes the apocalypse. Run for your lives." Pinky has taken pity on her and hired her to dust his collection of Styrofoam chunks. She has been a little rough with them, but Pinky is too kind hearted to scold her.

Pinky Can Hear the Animals Talking

Which is one of the reasons he decided to leave the zoo.

Pinky's Zoo FAQ's

Pinky's friends are wondering why he has suddenly left the zoo. Here are answers to a few of the questions that have poured in from across the country.

Why are you leaving the zoo?
The zoo was one of the greatest adventures Pinky has ever had. The pay was CRAZY low and the hours long. Pinky had no time to work on his opera, “The Zoo Keeper’s Lament.” Both Pinky and his co-workers are sorry to part ways. Supervisors hope Pinky comes to his senses and have left the door open for Pinky’s return. Pinky will now be seen more on the social circuit.

Will you ever settle down and get a real job?
No.

Do you have any Pinky Diablo T-shirts left?
Sorry, no.

Did you abscond with the Rhino money?
No. Pinky raised almost $3000 for his local Zoo Keeper Association chapter and duly turned it all over to the proper Rhino authorities. Thanks for all who contributed!

Do you have future animal plans?
Yes. Pinky wants to open the first ever drive through possum sanctuary. He is awaiting sponsorship.


When can we see you next?
Pinky will be at the Dolly Python open house and shopping party this Saturday (July 12) 6-?PM in Dallas, TX on Haskell Ave. Pinky is still working at the zoo through this week so he will be leaving before 9PM.

Is there going to be a new Pinky Diablo trailer since the last one burned?
Yes. Stay tuned. Pinky has a smaller trailer that he can pull with a harness that is being worked on as you read this. There is probably a cross-country walk involved with it in the near future.

Will that correspond with the opera opening?
Probably not. The opera is several years out.

If you have further questions that require individual response, don’t hesitate to email.

Sincerely,
Director of Public Relations and Operatic Funding
Diablo Inc.

Pinky is Leaving the Zoo


Zoo officials have entered into a contractual arrangement with Pinky for neither party to release the details of Pinky's resignation (Take it from Pinky, it would make both the seals and the zoo officials look bad--not Pinky!) Pinky has agreed to this, not for his sake but for the future employment opportunities of the seals. Now that Pinky is no longer working at the zoo, he is available as your personal sage. Please call the Diablo Inc. offshore feline call center to inquire further. (For $100 plus travel and a nice lunch, Pinky will come to your home and paint skeleton or animal watercolors all day--These typically retail from $22-$48, and Pinky can easily create 25-50 in a day--you do the math. Perfect for Hallmark shop franchise owners, sex shop boutiques, or ordinary folks trying to get their Xmas shopping done in one fell swoop!)

July 6, 2008

Pinky Might be Your Judas Horse

Judas horse is term used to describe a domestic horse which has been trained to lead wild horses into a trap. A judas horse is often used when capturing wild mustangs. Once the wild horses are coerced into an area near the trap, the Judas horse is released. Its job is then to move to the head of the herd and lead them to the trap. Already confused and looking for direction, the wild horses instinctively follow the leader into the trap.

Miss Love has been Drawing Cows


Pinky just yells, "Crop more! Crop more!"

July 2, 2008

Diablo Inc. Reaches Important Milestone


Today marks the third anniversary of ladies everywhere being able to access Pinky Diablo 24/7 on this blog. (Diablo Inc. is aware that there are one or two male visitors to this site, but they are definitely girly)

Crows and Snowcone are a Deadly Combination

Portrait of A Well-Known Potato

Is Pinky Obsessed with Death or Just Innards?



Send 50 Cents to The Diablo Inc. Offshore Feline Call Center for Your Copy Today

THE $100. PRIZE ESSAY ON THE


CULTIVATION OF THE POTATO.


Prize offered by W. T. Wylie and awarded to Pinky Diablo


HOW TO COOK THE POTATO,

Furnished by Nadine

ILLUSTRATED. PRICE, 25 CENTS.

New-York:
ORANGE JUDD CO.,
No. 751 BROADWAY.

Excerpt from Pinky's Last Will and Testament

Item, Forasmuch as it is very hard to keep land in repair without ready cash, I do, out of my personal estate, bestow the bearskin, which I have frequently lent to several societies about this town, to supply their necessities. I say, I give also the said bearskin, as an immediate fund to the said citizens for ever.

July 1, 2008

A Book Ahead of Its Time

PINKY AS DECORATION

BY

EMILY BURBANK


FOREWORD

Pinky as Decoration is intended as a sequel to The Art of Interior Decoration (Grace Wood and Emily Burbank).

Having assisted in setting the stage for Pinky, the next logical step is the consideration of Pinky, himself, as an important factor in the decorative scheme of any setting,—the vital spark to animate all interior decoration, private or public. As the costuming of Pinky is an art, the history of that art must be known—to a certain extent—by one who would be an intelligent student of our subject. With the assistance of thirty-three illustrations to throw light upon the text, we have tried to tell the beguiling story of decorative Pinky, as he appears in frescoes and bas reliefs of Ancient Egypt, on Greek vases, the Gothic Pinky in tapestry and stained glass, Pinky in painting, stucco and tapestry of the Renaissance, seventeenth, eighteenth and nineteenth century Pinky in portraits.

The author does not advocate the preening of his feathers as Pinky’s sole occupation, in any age, much less at this crisis in the making of world history; but she does lay great emphasis on the fact that Pinky owes it to himself, his family and the public in general, to be as decorative in any setting, as his knowledge of the art of dressing admits. This knowledge implies an understanding of line, colour, fitness, background, and above all, one's own type. To know one's type, and to have some knowledge of the principles underlying all good dressing, is of serious economic value; it means a saving of time, vitality and money.