July 31, 2006
July 30, 2006
AARP Not Jiggy Wid It
Why would AARP send a person a membership card with their name and expiration date? They are a more powerful lobby than Pinky ever imagined. (And yes, that's Pinky Diablo's actual membership card.)
July 29, 2006
Pinky Sins, Too
Pinky realizes it was wrong to buy the booklet, The Essence of Buddhism, and the dyed pink fox face at the same shop. He simply couldn't pass up the chance at such delicious, sacriligious irony.
July 28, 2006
Diablo Inc.'s Old Testament Subdivision has Sold Out! Pinky is Now Starting a Buddhist Subdivision.
Here there is no one-upping the Joneses. Buy now before they're all gone! Mortgages transferrable over many lifetimes. July 27, 2006
Pinky D had Some Complaints About His Previous Method of Baptism
For those so inclined, he can arrange for a log flume baptism at Six Flags. 
A Rose by Any Other Name...
Miss Love begged not to allow this picture of her insides to be publically viewed. Pinky argued that for his stance on intelligent design, he had to show it. Miss Love was silent.
Granny D was Unhappy with Pinky's Last Posting of a Hot Water Heater and Insisted on Having Him Come Over and Photograph Hers
July 26, 2006
Reserve Your Home Site Now in Pinky's New Old Testament Subdivision
Pinky chose "Solomon's Temple" as his floorplan. It has a kick-ass great room.Pinky has Always been Empathetic to the Suffering of All of God's Creatures
Drawing done at 6 years old. 
July 25, 2006
Tonight on PD TV
See Mutton Chop, the world's fattest whirling dervish, perform at the Diablo Inc. Roller Derby Palace.July 24, 2006
Cotton Candy is the Devil's Most Ingenious Invention
It holds the pure essence of unobtainable hope along with its inherhent suffering, all while looking like a beautiful cloud on a stick. (see several earlier posts about the misery of cotton candy.)
Pinky's First Interview Question with Jesus
Q: What disappoints you most in people.
A: When they play with their food.
The Condenser Coil on Pinky's Dream Catcher Froze Up
That's why Pinky couldn't remember his dreams this morning. He has called the AC/Shaman guy.July 23, 2006
Another Feat of Engineering Marvel by Diablo Inc.
For those in mortal fear of where the ocean meets the shore.Holiday Sewer Log
Send off today for Pinky's recipe for Holiday Sewer Log. In commemoration of Pinky's dream last night in which he became an honorary deputy for the city's water and sanitation dept. He was so excited, that he jumped out of bed this morning and invented this amazing cake. Miss Love was beside herself!Afterlife Care from Diablo Inc.
Planning on seeing this view soon? Let Diablo Inc. plan your funeral and beyond. We can arrange for perpetual graveside wailing, readings from the classics or stock market reports slipped into your casket through Diablo Inc.'s patent-pending Grave Tube. Any small flat items such as letters or sandwiches can be slipped into the charcoal lined tube that connects this world to that world. (The charcoal helps that world's smell from travelling back up the tube to this world.) We can also outfit any coffin with internet access, expresso machines, ipods, or any other special requests. For example: Diablo Inc. recently buried a well-known philanathropist with state of the art two-way television monitors and non-stop theramin music. His grieving widow and family are simply beside themselves with emotion as they watch him enjoy his afterlife!
Apologies
Diablo Inc. is a non-demoninational employer. While you may detect an Eastern leaning lately, this too shall pass. Soon, Pinky will land back on his feet in the firmly fundamentalist landscape of the Bible Belt, where he was born, raised, born again, escaped, returned, born yet again, and finally where he is resigned to live out the rest of his lives. The simple answer (to many things!) is that he prefers Pho with tripe over chicken fried steak. Suggestion
If you think the road goes on forever and the party never ends, you need talk to the Buddha.
July 22, 2006
July 21, 2006
Pope Benedict's Cat Box
Cleaned daily by Dr. Ingrid Stampa (see earlier posting on the Vatican's denial of the existence of Ratzinger's cats)Pay Attention to Pinky Diablo or He Will Send Upon You His 10 Redneck Plagues
1. A plague of possums
2. A plague of ringworm
3. A plague of ticks
4. A plague of junkmail
5. A plague of Mormons
6. A plague of nonstop Christian radio
7. A plague of pink-eye
8. A plague of downed satellite dishes
9. A plague of kudzu
10. A plague afflicting your primary pick-up truck (not the one with farm tags)
2. A plague of ringworm
3. A plague of ticks
4. A plague of junkmail
5. A plague of Mormons
6. A plague of nonstop Christian radio
7. A plague of pink-eye
8. A plague of downed satellite dishes
9. A plague of kudzu
10. A plague afflicting your primary pick-up truck (not the one with farm tags)
July 20, 2006
Look Peaceful?
Well, this was taken just minutes before rotten, bloated frogs began falling from heaven and a tidal wave of blood covered the land.
The Room Where Pinky's Spleen Used to Live
In order for this to make sense, You must think of Pinky's body as a house. (This house will be on the next Ellis County Tour of Homes in December!)July 19, 2006
Confession
Pinky's been reading about the Buddha. After about an hour into his reading sessions, he gets a craving for ice cream. He gives into his desire, sadly savoring the sweetness of this make-believe world.
July 18, 2006
Hire Pinky to be the Pinata at Your Next Party!
When you bust him open, you won't believe the treasures that will spray your guests.
Metaphor, Good. Literal, Bad.
While Pinky sees the truth and the beauty in the last post, he begs to differ about the life of a chicken. Pinky and Miss Love have gone through over 150 chickens over the years, and every one of them lived a life of suffering, fear, and mutilation. Pinky saw that chickens, too, need a path to Enlightenment and freedom from suffering. (But he doesn't know how to spread the word.)
Don't Be Shamed By The Chickens
If we compare ourselves with chickens we'll see,
They don't have headaches, insomnia, or ulcers.
They're free of nervous tension and mental disorders.
Chickens don't go crazy like we do every day.
The world's people take drugs by the ton,
While the chickens don't take even a speck.
They sleep tight, minds at ease one-hundred per cent.
Don't you feel a little embarrassed by the chickens?
Human birth gives us the right to be neurotic:
Should we count this as a blessing or a curse?
Please find some Dhamma before it's too late,
To live happily, no longer shamed by the chickens.
(If this intrigues you, click on the chicken.)
July 17, 2006
Sunday Sleepless Night
Pinky couldn't sleep, so he got up and made this miniature model of Shanghai. He was disappointed in some of the penthouse bathrooms that didn't turn out as detailed as he had hoped. Pinky is going to the doctor today for some insomnia medication. Saturday Sleepless Night
Pinky couldn't sleep, so he got up and whittled this cute little boulder. He was very proud of it.
July 16, 2006
When Pinky's Great Aunt Tisby Left his Great Uncle Poot, She Took Only a Chair and a Suitcase Full of Cheese
July 14, 2006
More Insight into Pinky Diablo
As a small child he was often empathetic to objects around him. Here, he touchingly understands a dead cow on the beach.
Sometimes the Buddha could be a Card!
"If the waters in rivers (such as the Ganges) could really wash away sins and suffering, then turtles, crabs, fish, and shellfish living in those sacred rivers ought by now to be freed of their sins and sufferings too." Pinky adds, "and cows!"
July 13, 2006
Pink House Revisited
You keen Pinky Diablo bloggers will probably recognize the little pink house in which Pinky trapped the devil last summer. After a fresh coat of paint, the devil-stink is finally gone. Here is Pinky's bottle-fed baby zebu calf, Birdie, eating in front of it. What a difference a year makes!
Repent Sinner!
The next time Pinky is born again, he hopes his left behind shell is a bit more humanoid.
July 12, 2006
Do the Math
If you took all the mayonnaise, tartar sauce, and other white sauces ever made in the history of the world, it would be enough to cover the entire earth in a layer 27 1/2 inches thick. (If you spread it only on land it would be 74 inches.)
July 11, 2006
Pinky Wonders Why God Likes the Blood of the Lamb
Personally, Pinky likes little lambs with all their blood inside and out of sight.
Dear Jesus, what does that one-legged bird have to complain about? It makes the rest of us in the animal kingdom look like ingrates. Holy art thou name.
Dear Jesus, why did God only give me one leg? Did I sin? Why do I have to pay in constant misery for the stupidity of Adam and Eve? Millions of my fellow birds are killed and maimed on windshields, by cats, by avian flu, and 100’s of other calamities. Obviously birds don’t get to heaven, because if they did there would be no room for anything else. Imagine how many birds have lived and died in the history of the world! Why has God forsaken me? I tried to go to church, but was kicked by a nun. I don’t even have an address where you could send a letter, so never mind.
The Aquatic Set for Pinky's Broadway Production of "Four Texans in Newfoundland"
The grand finale involves an actual traveling iceberg and 200 beluga whales. Pinky is played by Kyle McLaughlin. (Based on actual experiences from Pinky, Miss Love, Pableau X., and Granny D.) 
Shame Shame Shame
Pinky is saddened to report that your behavior last weekend has caused Mrs. Wohlenbroecken to have a nervous breakdown. She has left the substitute teaching profession and has been throwing pizza parties for the squirrels in the local park while wearing only her well-worn girdle.
July 10, 2006
The Great Flood at Pinky's Last Art Exhibit
Pinky didn't have flood insurance and lost most of his recent work to mildew.
Pinky has been Hard at Work Training His Flock of Grackles
Today he got them to make this tornado shape. For $4500 he can have then spell your name at your next event.July 9, 2006
Pinky Squealed Like a Little Girl When He Stumbled Upon the Great Presidential Heads Stored at a Secret Location in Houston
July 8, 2006
Pinky Gone Until Sunday
Pinky has left for Houston to attend an art opening of his good friend, Lance Ferngate. In the meantime, Mrs. Wohlenbroecken will be your substitute teacher. Please treat her with the same respect you afford Pinky.July 7, 2006
Pinky's New Opera: Wigger in France (Act 2, Scene 1)
Pinky plays possum (faire l'opossum in French!) while the settee is lowered for the climactic ending.
July 5, 2006
Pinky Diablo's Psychic Pinhole Photography
This time, Pinky was watching one of his favorite Shirley Temple movies when he decided to set up his oatmeal box pinhole camera. To his horror, he captured this disturbing image of little Shirley T.This Wouldn't Happen if Pinky were Pope
Pope Benedict, who moved into the papal quarters last year, faced an unexpected problem - Vatican administrative services did not allow him to take his two pussycats to his new home.
The Italian press quotes Sister Ingrid Stampa, Pope Benedict's German housekeeper, as saying, "Cats have always been Pope Benedict’s passion. The caricature of him as a remote and austere hardliner is clearly misplaced." She denies that the Vatican had a hissy fit about the Pope's cats, saying, " ... the only cats he has are made of porcelain ...". Porcelain cats?
However, Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone, the Archbishop of Genoa and formerly the Pope’s deputy at the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, told the press that the Pope "often talks to cats at length, usually in German, and they follow him home, fascinated". Cardinal Bertone said that the Swiss Guard had even complained that because of the Pope "cats are invading the Holy See."
Whatever the case, until the problem is resolved, the Pope has to pay frequent visits to his old apartment outside the Vatican and take care of the cats, according to the Italian news reports.
You would think, off hand, that Pope Benedict, keeper of the keys to the kingdom with power to loose and to bind, might be able to stand down a Vatican functionary and obtain permission to move his cats into the Papal residence.
The Italian press quotes Sister Ingrid Stampa, Pope Benedict's German housekeeper, as saying, "Cats have always been Pope Benedict’s passion. The caricature of him as a remote and austere hardliner is clearly misplaced." She denies that the Vatican had a hissy fit about the Pope's cats, saying, " ... the only cats he has are made of porcelain ...". Porcelain cats?
However, Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone, the Archbishop of Genoa and formerly the Pope’s deputy at the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, told the press that the Pope "often talks to cats at length, usually in German, and they follow him home, fascinated". Cardinal Bertone said that the Swiss Guard had even complained that because of the Pope "cats are invading the Holy See."
Whatever the case, until the problem is resolved, the Pope has to pay frequent visits to his old apartment outside the Vatican and take care of the cats, according to the Italian news reports.
You would think, off hand, that Pope Benedict, keeper of the keys to the kingdom with power to loose and to bind, might be able to stand down a Vatican functionary and obtain permission to move his cats into the Papal residence.
Pinky Could Do Great Things If Someone Would Just Build a Shrine for One Tiny Strand if His Thinning Hair
July 4, 2006
July 3, 2006
Pinky's Patriotism Test
Please record how this image makes you feel (in comments below). Pinky will send you a numerical rating of your patriotism. Good Luck!
Pinky Diablo's Psychic Pinhole Photography
Pinky pointed his oatmeal box pinhole camera at an empty doorway and captured this amazing crime scene. The local police dept. was able to get a conviction based on Pinky's psychic abilities.
Pinky's Got a Leg Up on the Satellite TV Industry
Diablo Inc. has a cheaper way of repairing those pesty satellites that break down in space. The hard part is getting the seraphim to attend the training sessions in Garland, Texas.
The Internet is a Horrible Thing
This tragic photo of murdered shrimp can be found all over the internet (just do a Google image search for Costco shrimp accident.) This is a personal horror for 100's of family members of these massacred shrimp. Pinky thinks there should be laws prohibiting the sharing of these revolting images. Who would take a picture like this, and who would want to look at it ? Pinky's faith in humanity is sagging.
July 2, 2006
Please Excuse the Lack of Posts Today
Pinky is hosting 23,000 followers at his place today. The event is called Promise Breakers. It will be a cross between a revival, rally, rock concert, preach-off and drag show.
July 1, 2006
Try Pinky D Budget Cheese and Crackers Catering for Up to 20 Persons
As little as 25 cents per person
Pinky Has Always Been Fascinated with the Death of Marat
But he always thought Charlotte Corday was a woman.(And in this reproduction the luscious green background is too dark.)Pinky Diablo Wisdom of the Day
It is harder to get Pinky to bathe than to tape a butterfly to the tail of an alligator.
Diablo Inc.'s New Cheese Ball Armatures
Many homemakers cannot make a perfectly round cheese sphere, no matter how hard they try. With Diablo Inc.'s cheese ball armatures, your cheese balls will be the envy of your social circle (at least until they try dipping into it!). Comes in three convenient sizes.
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