February 24, 2006

If Pinky Were a Jew, He Wouldn't Push His Luck with an Angry Old Testament God Like This (Come to Think of It, Jesus is Probably Weeping, Too)

Jerusalem zoo puts giraffe on birth control
Family planning introduced in order to curb fertile female

After the giraffe population tripled to nine in recent years, outgrowing the Biblical Zoo in Jerusalem, the most fertile female Shavit has been put on birth control. (From msn.com)

Sorry, Gotta Run...

...I see smoke coming from behind the tool shed and Miss Love has been uncharacteristically quiet for the last half hour.

Diablo Inc.'s New Footwear Collection

Pinky has contracted Tibetan orphans to embroider this design on his new line of man slippers. They will only be available in mens' sizes 11-15.

Repressed Childhood Memory

The previous post reminded Pinky of a traumatic event from his childhood:

One summer my parents enrolled me in a science camp. The first day they brought in a box of live chickens. We were going to cook them and reconstruct their skeletons. We were told to bring bread and mayonaisse for the next day. Thankfully the chickens we already dead when we got to class, but we had to boil them and carefully pick the meat off (and set it aside for lunch). My chicken partner and I made a little cape for our chicken skeleton. We agreed to trade off keeping it. It went home with him for the first visit. I never saw Super Chicken again.

Death is a Chicken

Photo from Pinky's Archive

It's gray and dreary at the ranch, so Pinky got out his photo albums to cheer himself up. Here's a fun party with beer bottles and a poodle in the hot tub. Oh, how Pinky loves summer.

February 23, 2006

Pinky's Miraculous Birth

“As I was just about finished brewing in my mother’s womb, the spinning wind was picking up speed as it hurried toward the Texas coast. I cannot tell you whether Carla knew about me or not. You would have to ask her, but she’s a hurricane and long gone.”

Pinky's Cabinet of Curiosities

February 22, 2006

Eighth Wonder of the World: Or a New Twist on Jack and the Beanstalk

Last night, Pinky had a fitful sleep. He woke up around 3 AM and coughed and coughed. Just when he thought he was going to cough up a lung, a black slimy lump came up his throat. He lifted it out with his dainty band-aided fingertips and examined it. It looked like a tiny dark avocado and was glistening with a coating coal black ectoplasm. Pinky threw it out of the window in disgust. Around 10AM when Pinky got up to make Miss Love's morning coffee, he noticed the bedroom was dark, even for a rainy day. He glanced out the window and saw an ominous black shape. In the exact spot where he had flung his slippery black wad, a bizarre black bush had grown as high as the rooftop. The bush was both hairy and scaly and like nothing Pinky had ever seen before. By the time the coffee finished brewing, it had grown at least another 6 feet. Pinky has a lot to do today, but he vows to climb the bush tonight when he gets home.

Miss Love Explains How to Keep Pinky Home

Pinky Makes Miss Love Carry the Luggage on Vacation

Pestilence \PES-tuh-lunss\ noun 1 : a contagious or infectious epidemic disease that is virulent and devastating; especially : bubonic plague *2 : something that is destructive or pernicious

Example sentence: The rampant Pinky Diabloism of the modern age is as horrible a pestilence as the ancient plague.

Did you know? In the 14th century, the bubonic and pneumonic plagues ravaged Europe, casting the population into terror and leaving a death toll in the millions. It is easy to see why people of that grim period began using "pestilence," a derivative of "pestis," the Latin word for "plague," to refer to the horrifying diseases wracking the land. Plague and death became common literary themes of the era, and Geoffrey Chaucer used "pestilence" to vivid effect in "The Pardoner's Tale": "Ther cam a privee theef men clepeth Deeth, / That in this contree al the peple sleeth, / And with his spere he smoot his herte atwo, / And wente his wey withouten wordes mo. / He hath a thousand slayn this pestilence."

February 20, 2006

More of Pinky's Handicrafts

Sisters: Want and Ignorance

Come See Pinky's Christian Crafts

Pinky is having several exhibits this month. Come see one or all!
1. TALES OF A TRAVELING SALESMAN, Austin College, Ida Green Gallery, Sherman, TX. Pinky will be giving a lecture in his lil' pinky trailer Feb. 28 at 1:30 PM
2. SMALL JOURNEYS, Dallas Theater Center, March 1-March 31. (30 pieces in suitcases and tiny boxes. check DTC website for hours)
3. TRICK, Webb Gallery, Waxahachie TX, Opening March 4, 7PM. (about 40 new pieces in suitcase, and Pinky will be there at the opening in his trailer)
4. BOOKS BY PINKY, Rare Books Room, UNT Library, March 13 through the middle of April
5. Pinky will be gasping for air (all of April)

Granny D and Pableau X. Diablo Drank from Pinky's Elixir Bottle

It's made them feel 19 again.

February 19, 2006

Life is Fleeting

Pinky created this mermaid last night out of the tiny bit of snow in his yard. This morning she was almost gone.

It's Cold!

February 18, 2006

Pinky Sez: You Can't Really be Famous Unless...

...you have had your portrait sculpted in relief and cast in bronze. (Pinky guesses you are not in the elite circle.)

Diablo Inc. Buys Out Dia Rea Inc.

What Doesn't Kill Us...

...maims us.

February 16, 2006

Try This at Home

Try this experiment at home and finally discover the truth you've been looking for.

Proof of Something Bigger than You

February 15, 2006

Little Known Family History of the Diablo Family

Pinky's great uncle, "Poot" Diablo, invented peg-board in 1924. He also dressed like Napoleon and terrorized the neighborhood children.


If you even think about cracking a smile when seeing this you are going to hell.

February 14, 2006

Pinky Tries His Hand at Watercolor

Pinky chose this romantic little trash dumpster to start his watercolor career. He was happy with the result.

Pinky's In Big Trouble with Miss Love

Medusa's Poodle

Medusa and Perseus: the Untold Story

Of course, you know that Perseus slew Medusa, but did you know there was a poodle in the mix? Medusa had a giant pink poodle as her side-kick. Anyone that looked Medusa's poodle in the eye broke out in hives, shingles, and acne for the rest of his life. Since Perseus was on steroids (see image), he already had bad acne. The poodle lapped up a bit of Medusa's blood and became Perseus' lifelong companion.

Pinky Never Really Felt At Ease in Nature as a Small Child

February 13, 2006

Diablo Family History

Pinky's ancestors were scalped by Mormons posing as Indians in Utah during the Mountain Meadows Massacre of 1857.

Miss Love Says, "Pinky is Too Stressed!"

Pinky responded by thinking of how he could streamline important activities to make more time for himself. He realized he spent many hours a day looking at things, so he invented a looking machine to do the work for him. (He calls it his looky-stick.) Pinky is now as relaxed as a eunuch in a hen house.

February 12, 2006

One of Pinky's Favorite Words


Buy Today!

Get your bottle of Pinky's Exquisite Elixir today and start to enjoy life. It will make you feel like a spring chicken! (Endorsed by the Mamie Eisenhower Foundation, Pia Zadora and Sex Addicts Anonymous.)

February 11, 2006

Yoga Class

Pinky and Miss Love started a new arboreal yoga class today. They feel rejuvenated.

More Proof of Intelligent Design

February 10, 2006

Pinky Diablo's Job

It is Pinky's job to gross you out. This might do it. It is also Pinky's job to comfort the hurting. If you have one of these or even something less gross on your skin, maybe this will make you feel like you are not alone. (But don't tell Pinky, he won't want to be near you!)