December 30, 2005

December 29, 2005

Pinky's Dirty Little Secret

Pinky Finds Letter from Nadine in a Shoebox at His Studio

No Joke

This chapel in the Palais Des Papes in Avignon is for sale on Ebay for $990,000 (if you don't believe it, go to Ebay>Real Estate>Other). Pinky needs it to start his reign as the challenger pope. (If they could do it back then, why not now?!) Pinky is asking all 990,000 of his followers to send just $1 to Pinky to establish Avignon as the new seat of Pope Pinkus I. Pinky thinks he will look fabulous in his gold embroidered robe and jewel encrusted cowboy hat. You can visit and kiss his ring.

Pinky's Latest Catering Gig

For New Years Eve, Pinky is creating a mashed potato mountain. There will be a luscious river of reduced pear cider and thyme, pork tenderloin mountain lions, and cracker trailer houses blocking the view. Pinky has been peeling potatoes all week. Pinky prays none of the guests are on the Atkins Diet.

Are You Stalking Pinky?

Someone broke into Pinky's house and tore all the faces out of his photo albums. Pinky is concerned about identity theft, so if you see someone you think is Pinky, ask for the code word before you talk to him/her.

Pinky's Worst Nightmare Ever

Nipple from the Hound of Hell

Buy Pinky D Brand Toothpaste in a Jar

No more messy tubes. Will last at least two years. Just dip and brush.

16th Century Pope's Miter Discovered Buried in Ancient Vatican Latrine

But Triumph Turned to Ashes in His Handsome Mouth

December 28, 2005

Brokeback Toy Story

"I wish I knew how to quit you."

There are More Similarities Here Than Differences

Pink Makes Everything Less Scary

Pinky's Repulsive Garden

Pinky clips his pink moles and dips them in rooting stimulant and plants them in rich soil. Here they are at three months--just starting to sprout gray whiskers. At two years, they will be two feet in diameter and ready for sale.

Pinky Diablo and His Singing Grubworm Saved by You!

Miss Love was wrong about Pinky's fan base. After demanding at least 25 viewers in 24 hours, Miss Love will now have to eat crow when she sees there were 35 in less than 12 hours. Pinky's celebrating with a steak and champagne dinner (that he will share w/ Miss Love--along w/ her roasted crow).

Miss Love has been Complaining That Many of Pinky's Images are Too Esoteric

Pinky is just a common man. He has no idea what she's talking about.

Pinky Just Doesn't Get the Japanese Zeitgeist

Miss Love's Rose Bowl Parade Entry

Diablo Inc.'s Rose Bowl Parade Entry

Come On Over for a Bowl of Pinky's New Year's Lucky Mush

A Big Toe Under Pinky's Spiritual Care

Pinky Diablo's Puppet Theater has been Destroyed by Thugs

Pinky and his puppets will have to rebuild.

Pinky Brings Religion to the Masses

Eat More Pink

December 27, 2005

Pinky D's Wishing Stoma

Write your wish on a small piece of paper and push it into Pinky's wishing stoma. You will be grossed out, but your wish will come true!

Nadine Acting Maudlin

Pinky has hurt Nadine's feelings, so now she is acting like she doesn't have long to live. She has picked out her funerary dress and lays for hours practicing looking dead. Pinky goads her on by coming over and practicing her funeral sermon while eating bags of Cheetos (he knows the orange residue really bothers her, but she tries really hard to keep her eyes closed). He tells her no one will be there except him and the Waxahachie Murphy family.

Pinky Hates to Bend his Morals to Fit Popular Demand

But he does what it takes. One suggestion to improve his blog visibility was to "shut your fat mouth and show more naked pictures of Miss Love." Well, Miss Love doesn't show skin for free, but she agreed to let Pinky photograph her while she painted a bucolic scene of her miniature zebu. Looks and talent are rare indeed in the same package.

Pinky Rarely Asks for Help...

...but he needs you now. Here are the actual #'s of visitors to Pinky's blogsite for the past week. It is hardly worth his effort to spend hours a day for such a small number of viewers. He also spends thousands per month on an obviously bloated and inefficient marketing department. Can your firm or think tank spend some time developing a plan for Pinky to spread his message throughout the world (or at least North Central Texas)? Pinky feels a true dedication to his work here, publishing several posts each day to help the less fortunate. Please help.

More Gospel from the Diablo Inc. Label

Pinky's New Gospel Album is on Sale Only at Walmart

Scarred by God
Songs of Praise and Wrath
by Pinky Diablo and His Singing Grubettes

Granny D Always Has the Strangest Xmas Decorations

Why Desert Dwellers Don't Eat Beans and Smoke Their Hookah at the Same Time

A Peek into the Soul of Pinky Diablo

(His soul has settled into the area where his spleen used to be. He's thinking of tattooing a zipper over his abdominal scar.)

There's a Burn Ban in Pinky's County and It's Giving Him Nightmares!

December 26, 2005

Disney has Hired Pinky as Consultant for New Animated Movie with a Tapeworm as the Hero

Pinky's Portrait Offer

Over 75? Bored? Want a new experience? Come pose for Pinky! He'll make you a tuna sandwich, and give you an afternoon you won't soon forget.

Nadine's Newest Art Piece

She's one sick puppy!

Pinky Visits Nadine

Pinky went to see Nadine after her week-long binge with the Presbyterian preacher. As expected, she's off her meds and totally stressed out by the holidays. She was in a dirty nightgown making a giant paper mache telephone. Pinky asked her what it was for. She answered, "To call Jesus, of course!" Pinky asked her to put in a good word for him.

Come See Pinky as the Pink Killer at the Sportatorium

December 25, 2005

Scientific Holiday Proof

Data Spectrum Phantom was imaged with a set high resolution collimators, 2 minutes per slice, and a 4 mm patient couch step. The data was then reconstructed with the new fully three-dimensional maximum aposteriori (MAP) reconstruction. 20 slices of the 40 aquired, are displayed with a slice thickness of 4mm. There are about 3 million counts in the rod section of the phantom and 8 million counts in the spheres section. The rod diameter are as follows 4.8mm, 6.4mm, 7.9mm 9.5mm 11.1mm and 12.7. The sphere diameters are as follows 9.5mm, 12.7mm 15.9mm, 19.1mm and 25.4mm, 31.8mm. This clearly illustrates the super high-resolution of the NeuroFOCUS camera.

Christmas Cookies are Not Good for Pinky's Complexion

Xmas Rat

Artwork by Granny D.

Pinky's a Little Tired

He's gonna stay home and stare at the wallpaper.
Damn, what a smelly house! What's all that mooing and scratching? I just dropped down the chimney to leave of a package for Miss Love and a bag of coal for Pinky Diablo, and the computer was on--so I thought I'd let you know how the cow really ate the cabbage. Pinky said he'd help with delivery this year, but he was always off somewhere else with that little pink trailer. He's got the Mrs. wrapped around his little finger. All I hear is, "Pinky this! Pinky that." Well, I say Pinky can go screw himself! There's not one lazy elf I'd trade for 50 Pinkys. And you've never heard such outrageous demands on me as from Pinky all his sheltered f*cking life. When he was 6 he asked for an electric cookie. Now, what in the hell is an electric cookie?! R&D wasted 6 months before I told them Pinky was just trying to get my goat. Now that I think of it, Santa's gonna deposit a special package for Pinky right here on his keyboard. The place is so filthy, he probably won't even notice it. By the way, if you read this before I make it to your place, I've kinda lost my appetite being here, so don't put out the cookies. Porno and scotch would really hit the spot about now. Merry Christmas!--SC

Will the Real Virgin Please Stand Up

December 24, 2005

Pableau X. Diablo Sent Pinky This Cheerful Holiday Poem

If there's no wound on the hand,
that hand can hold poison.
Poison won't penetrate where there's no wound.
There's no evil for those who don't do it.
--Dhammapada, 9, translated by Thanissaro Bhikkhu

Pinky doesn't understand it.
It the wound were big enough,
Wouldn't the poision pour right through,
Leaving the flesh undisturbed?

Just When Pinky Thought Nadine Might Be Gone For Good

Pinky found this festive container filled with chocolate rum balls on his front doorstep this morning. It must mean Nadine's back. They were delicious.